unfaithful?

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  • #3518

    SW
    Participant

    I have a pair of good friends who have been dating for about 2 years. Both are very nice people…friendly, professional, and thoughtful. But the male half seems TOO friendly with other women in professional and social settings. He flirts with waitresses (in her presence), put his hands on (married!) co-workers shoulders, and even had a woman accompany him to a formal concert when his significant other didn’t feel well. He also regularly e-mails college students almost half his age (he’s 33, and we work in a university setting). I doubt he is interested in sex with these women. Am I just too conservative in my thinking, or is this inappropriate? His girlfiend has witnessed most of this and complained to him, but she just seems resolved that she can change him, or that she should just suffer (she is the martyr type). She says other friends and family (myself included) warn her about this, and don’t want her hurt again (her ex-husband didn’t ‘cheat,’ but was unemployed and unmotivated). But she claims ‘they don’t understand.’ I’m not out to ‘save’ her, but just want to know if his behavior (and her tolerance) are acceptable.

    User Detail :  

    Name : SW, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : syracuse, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #21238

    Mara
    Participant

    I grew up in a touchy-feely, openly affectionate family and often find myself doing many of the same things this guy does. I’m very friendly even to strangers (which could be misconstrued as flirting, I suppose), I hug EVERYBODY and yes, have even accompanied opposite-gender friends to concerts. My husband accepts this because he knows me and he knows that NEVER would I lower myself to cheating. He doesn’t get jealous because I’ve never given him reason to doubt my honesty, my honor, or my love for him.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : data entry, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #21239

    Dot
    Member

    Sadly all you can do is be supportive of her decisions and help her get over him when it does fail. It’s never smart to get between a friend and his/her love interest. Also, unless you’re gay your interest could be misconstrued as a desire to break them up for your own purposes.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dot, Gender : Female, Age : none, City : L.A., State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 
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