Why stick with one sexual partner?

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  • #10819

    Stephen
    Member

    Why is monogamy considered so important, when human nature tends to variety?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephen, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Mississauga, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #34430

    Matt
    Member

    As a ‘sort-of-fundamentalist’ Christian, I believe monogamy is mandated by my religion. While it certainly is nice if I can find out why certain requirements exist, I believe in sticking with rules like that, even if I don’t fully understand the reason. Sure, ‘human nature’ definitely does give me urges to behave otherwise, but I’m not one to equivocate ‘it’s natural’ with ‘it’s right.’ Sometimes religion is about overcoming nature rather than following it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #47295

    AIDS, unwanted pregancies and broken hearts are just three good reasons. I think men who go around having sex with women indiscriminately are nasty – as nasty as women who do the same.

    User Detail :  

    Name : RhondaOutlaw, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 41, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25750

    Rick29922
    Participant

    Matt: Even though I’m an atheist, I found your answer to be both succint and sensible.

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    Name : Rick29922, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Springfield, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #15594

    H.J.
    Member

    I believe it has a lot to do with the spread of Christianity, which espouses monogamy. And since we’ve been monogamous for the last however-many-thousand years, it’s what we know and do. Plus, as previously mentioned, it’s useful for preventing such things as disease and unwanted pregnancy. Having been both non-monogamous and monogamous, if I were not married I would probably not be monogamous anymore.

    User Detail :  

    Name : H.J., City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, 
    #41928

    D-Poet31805
    Participant

    Thank You Stephen for asking your question. I would first like to address your human nature statement. I am with my future wife at this moment and there is no doubt in my mind that we will be together forever. and as my being young and in Love, i am telling you that i have no ures to be with any other woman but her. Human nature does not fit all of us Humans, because whatever is considered natural is only for the individual. It may be natural for you to brush your teeth before eating breakfast while others brush afterwards. My Human nature tells me to Love My Woman. So Human nature is that of the individual, not us Humans as a whole. but as for monogamy, i just think that if you were with someone and chose to cheat on them behind their backs, that is cruel to me. I just dont see why you’re new mate wont think you wont cheat on them also. I just believe in finding your life partner, whether it is wife, husband or life partner, then committing to one is important. It all depends on how you feel, but please promise me this, if you have the urge to cheat, don’t, please. That causes hurt and destroys one’s self image of themselves, thinking why their ex didnt like them or didnt find them attractive enough to stay with them , or anything else. it can even lead to suicide. I just hate it when another is sad. it kills me. so please, dont be in a relationship if you know you will cheat, it will be much easier for your mate. Thank You for reading this response. Peace In Your Life. D. Poet

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    Name : D-Poet31805, Age : 16, City : Anywhere, State : NA Country : Everywhere, 
    #36902

    Ronald-V29471
    Participant

    The tendency for human beings without restraint is to live by doing what feels good. But the result is tragic as was pointed out with AIDS, unwanted pregnancy and STDs. Total restraint would prohibit any sexual activity with similar results-AIDS, unwanted pregnancy and STDs. The RC church clergy who in theory have valued chastity have been responsible for sexual activity even before the recent news items of the past decade. Monogamy is the framework where a man and a woman can have a physcial relationship, establishing a theoretically permanent relationship providing each other with care,companionship and community (when little ones come). In monogamous relationships, the participants as a whole tend to grow less self-centred as they take care of one another. But why does it seem to go against human nature in so many ways? Wherever one looks at the world, tension creates balance, rather than allowing any one tendency to predominate.

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    Name : Ronald-V29471, Gender : M, Religion : Christian, Age : 50, City : Edmonton, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #32856

    Michael20711
    Participant

    As for why it’s important, I see it as merely a cultural standard. As for me, I believe I would choose monogamy (without forcing my mate to do the same) because relationships that close take emotional investment, and I doubt I have the strength of will to make such an investment in more than one person.

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    Name : Michael20711, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 20, City : Livingston, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, 
    #39618

    Nizzy
    Participant

    I say monogamy is good if you are in a relationship cuz cheating is low down dirty. Having different sexual partners however when you are not in a relationship can be healthy and fun. There is a difference in having protected, consensual sex with a couple people and screwing every person you meet, if you can keep yourself protected and you feel comfortable and happy, then go for it. Just make sure to make use of condoms and std tests.

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    Name : Nizzy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Winchester, State : VA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #25661

    TomO
    Member

    Its not all that important, but if there are children, their stability and security are important so that figures in. And, if you are lucky and have a great partner the lust for variety fades away

    User Detail :  

    Name : TomO, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 74, City : Oklahoma City, State : OK Country : United States, Occupation : Retired, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #26999

    Trina24891
    Participant

    The point of monogamy for me is to experience relationship in its deepest, strongest, most developed state – to see how far you can go with one other person, how far the journey can take you. I have been in non-monogamous relationships and the intimacy can only go so far, never enough to satisfy my desire to experience and understand myself, my partner, humanity, spirituality at its deepest level. It’s like there is a dissipation of energy when you share yourself around. Relationship exists for us to explore each other in our most naked, vulnerable state (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually), its hard to be that vulnerable with someone who is getting naked with lots of people! Its hard to be that vulnerable with alot of people, rather than one. It gets really complicated…

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    Name : Trina24891, City : Vic, State : NA Country : Canada, 
    #16366

    Ashley
    Member

    Staying monogamous to me is about the fact that I feel like a dumb ass quite often in those situation I show my rolls(yes 17 and I have a jelly roll)and it’s just one of those private situations..such as why is it better to have 2 best friends then 15 people that you’d split the time up with the 1 or 2 best friends into 15 people they can never know you as well and at the end of the day I want someone to know I’ll always over sleep, am needy, dangerously addicted to every thing super sweet, etc. I want a person who can know what I’m thinking when they can’t even see my face which is something you only get with monogamy

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ashley, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Pasco, State : WA Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #41355

    jen30973
    Participant

    monogamy is so much better than promiscuity, other than the obvious reasons like AIDS, STD’s, pregancies. the Sex is much better when you can have it more often with the same person, it allows you to experiment, and more open with your sexual preferenes… and you get it more often.

    User Detail :  

    Name : jen30973, Gender : F, Age : 21, City : mississauga, State : NA Country : Canada, 
    #30003

    Exton
    Participant

    Monogamy is considered important in our christian, european derived culture. This is not universally the case. I personally see no ethical reason not to be polygamous, but i personally would choose not to if given the option…multiple spouses makes life too complicated, especially where raising children is concerned. And think of this: if i can marry more than one woman, and a woman can marry more than one man, you could very well end up with a huge ‘marriage chain.’ There’s really nothing wrong with that, it would simply be very confusing. But then, there is the case of polygamous non-comitment. Multiple girlfriends/boyfriends and whatnot. Without commitment, relationships are free to form and dissolve practically at will, reducing the potential complexity of the matter. This would not be a good situation where children are concerned, though, because a child is best raised in a stable environment.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Exton, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : nontheist, Age : 18, City : Medway, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #15854

    mike
    Participant

    the thing is that peopl want to feel loved, feel like they are true to one person. But at the same time they also feel the need to find it some where else. I think that is is not cool to cheat but if you do think that being with just one persn your whole life is wronge then trust your judgement. dont listen to those people that think that religion and other things have any say in what you do. Look at me i have many gay friends and they all have proved to me that they are as happy as the next person. So i say it loud and clearr for the other to hear, GO YOU .

    User Detail :  

    Name : mike, City : fargo, State : ND Country : United States, 
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