Why are white men afraid of us?

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  • #2354

    Gia21684
    Participant

    Are white men afraid to date black women because they think we are too aggressive and possess too strong a character? Or are they afraid of what their peers will think? Or is there another reason?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Gia21684, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #14052

    Ben
    Member

    I grew up in a culture – school, neighborhoods and churches – that was predominantly white. The first real contact I had with anyone of another color was in college; I shared a room with a black student. I never knew any black women well, not by conscious choice, but because of ignorance. And naturally, I married a white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant woman. Fate, huh? I have worked with people from many backgrounds in the years since, and several black women were among them. As I got to know them, I responded to them as individuals – some I admired, others not so well. Some I found very personable, attractive women, whom I would have dated if I weren’t married. I probably missed out on some great relationships as I was growing up, due primarily to ignorance.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ben, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Liberal Evangelical Christian, Age : 41, City : Melbourne, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : grounds maintenance, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #41375

    Mike
    Participant

    I’m white and dated a black woman for about a year and a half. I was working in St. Lucia in the West Indies. I’ll have to admit, race didn’t seem to be as big an issue down there as it is here in the United States. I believe that in our country I’d be somewhat uncomfortable in public if I were dating someone black simply because race does seem to still be an issue here. I’m married now but still have pictures of Maggie (the black woman I dated)around that I show my kids, who will hopefully not be intimidated by what others will think.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 41, City : Fort Worth, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #37455

    C-Thomas
    Participant

    As a white male, I have always dated strong, aggressive women of varying ages and races,but never a black women because they really have never given me the time of day. My mother was and still is a great female role model, she did it all: wife, mother, entrepreneur, handyman, etc. Aggressive and strong willed. I won’t settle for anything less. If your’e referring to my peers as most ‘white guys’, then I would be the man if I showed up with a black women on my arm, because white guys can’t get dates with black women. Most black women seem to view white guys as thier mortal enemy, the downpresser man. So-called ‘peers’ aside, my friends and family are not so superficial as to judge yey or ney based on color, beauty, shape, or wealth, but rather character and most of all, wether this person was good for me or not. My mothers’ concern would be that, unfortunately, life will be even more challenging for the interratial couple. Unfair, but true. Life is what you make it. I would welcome the opportunity.

    User Detail :  

    Name : C-Thomas, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Outdoor Recreation, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #18076

    Symeon
    Member

    We’re not! I dated a few black girls growing up in Dallas and even took one to Prom in high school. However, when we would go to a restaurant, it was as if everyone stopped eating and stared when we came in. My prom date got a lot of grief from our fellow students (stuff written on her locker, etc.). I almost got beat up at a Rick James concert (she was oh, so beautiful!). Of course, that’s part of the South. I think the fear lies in the reaction of society and our peers. There’s some fear of different culture, too. Here in the deep south, black girls don’t seem to be really open to dating white guys. I think, however, that it boils down to the heart and some intelligence.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Symeon, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Eastern Orthodox, Age : 35, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, 
    #18437

    Big-Daddy23224
    Participant

    I’m a young white male from Detroit and I think that black women here are hard and aggressive and it’s hard to get to know them. I have a couple of black girlfriends and to be honest, once you get through the hard front, there is no difference between black and white.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Big-Daddy23224, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 25, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #24065

    Nicholas F.
    Participant

    When I was in high school I dated a black girl for quite some time. I haven’t since, but not for any particular reason. Recently there was a black woman (very attracitve I might add) who seemed interested, but alas I’m married now so that was that. The fact is that most white men are afraid of women period, and for good reason: They’re wimps! We’ve raised a generation or so of wimps in this country. I married an Asian woman because I don’t have to worry about her trying to wear the pants. She’s a woman, and all woman, and she expects me to be a man. That’s not to say that there are no differences, but they are dealt with through mutual respect. American women like to bad-mouth men whenever they can. They even do it in front of men. And they get away with it! Men are wimps these days.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Nicholas F., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Human, Religion : Catholic, Age : 38, City : Panorama City, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Network Engineer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #32575

    Chris D.
    Member

    I have been studying what people find attractive for quite a while (it helps to know what motivates people when you are a designer.) Familiarity is security. If you have not been exposed to many other cultures, relationships across those boundaries are often subconsciously frightening. I personally dated a black woman briefly and wish that it might have continued. We had a lot of fun. Not everyone has the guts or exposure to venture into such relationships.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chris D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Atheist, Age : 32, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Production Management, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #29142

    Dan
    Member

    The sight of a black male/white female couple seems very common, but white male/black female couples are very rare. In discussing interracial dating with single black female acquaintences, the dominant point of view seems to be ‘all the brothers are married, gay or dating white women,’ and there seems to be a lot of resentment toward white women who ‘steal’ black men. The message I get from all this is that black women, as a whole, aren’t as open to the idea of interracial dating as black men are. It’s hard enough finding a partner of the same race – why would I pursue a black woman, and deliberately put myself into a situation where I’ll likely be rejected? Other factors unrelated to race include weight and culture. There seems to be a proportionately large amount of overweight black women compared to white women, and as you’ll probably see in previous messages posted on Y?, black men are more open to dating ‘big beautiful women’ than white men are. If a black woman comes from a working class background or the ghetto, there may be some major cultural differences, and few shared experiences, between her and a middle-class white man.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #14773

    Drew
    Member

    Well, as a cracker, myself, I can say that I have dated or had ‘liasons’ with numerous black women. However, there is no doubt in my mind that the reason black women/white man couples are not quite as prevelant as black man/white woman relationships, is this: The garnerings of the Civil Rights era and were not as profitable for black women as black men. As a professional living in a large city, I would put it simply that I am far less likely to encounter black women in professional positions than I am black men, or anybody else for that matter.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Drew, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 26, City : Phila, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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