- February 15, 2004 at 12:00 am #11096
I have noticed, in my city at least, an increase in white male/black female romantic relationships. As a people-watcher, I have noted some curious reactions to this type of coupling. In one instance, when a couple passed I overheared a white man sitting nearby comment ‘they’re always taking ours; it’s about time we got some of theirs’ as he eyed the couple. I could only assume that by ‘we’ he was refering to white men and ‘theirs’ was a reference to black women. On a different occasion, I observed a couple passing by a group of young black men who glared at the couple as they walked by, refusing to respond to the woman when she politely said hello. Irronically, the black men were holding hands with white women at the time. In other instances, I have seen white women cease their conversations to stare at white man/black woman couples, in particular the black woman, as if in surprise. Particularly if the white man is attractive or seems to have a lot of money. I am curious as to the opinions that white men, white women and black men have at this type of coupling. Is it anger, fear, resentment, suspicion, awe, etc.? What are your thoughts about the increase in the number of white man/black woman relationships?
User Detail :Name : KN26915, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 18, 2004 at 12:00 am #30683
Yes, I hate to see a black woman dating a white man. It’s centered on the history of blacks and whites, and the issues that are still continuing in this country. White men spent so much time openly raping black women. It upsets me that a black women would give herself willingly to one. Additionally, even after the raping stopped, white men would ‘date’ (translate: screw) a black woman but would not marry her. There were some exceptions, but generally it’s been a case of just wanting to ‘sample some dark meat.’ Sorry for being so crude. Interestingly, it doesn’t bother me as much if I know a white man is actually married to a black woman. Of course, you generally date before you marry, so how’s that supposed to happen if he doesn’t date her first? Hmmm.
And yes, I have dated white women and don’t have a problem with othe black men dating white women. Do I see an, um, contradiction in my attitudes? Is it hypocritical? Yep. Do I think it’s correct? Nope. But it’s still there.
User Detail :Name : Wayne24391, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Baptist, Age : 43, City : Parsippany, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, February 18, 2004 at 12:00 am #41731
I’m a white man who has dated black women fairly often. I have not noticed anyone walking up to me and making any rude comments about such relationships, and usually strangers who strike up a conversation when I’m with a date of another race are polite. As for negative reactions, I have had one white male friend in his 50s comment in a discussion on dating (I was not involved in a relationship at that time) that he did not think interracial dating was as likely to work out in the long term. He had apparently tried dating non-white women himself and concluded their backgrounds were too different. I think the differences in background are probably larger for his generation than mine. This one seems to be more a pragmatic objection than a racist one. And there was one time I kissed a black woman in public and had a child yell, ‘Ewww, gross!’ But I figure a kid at that age would probably have similar objections to any public display of affection.
Do some people give less overt displays of disapproval? Probably there may be a few who gawk, but I haven’t noticed. I’m usually paying more attention to my date than others’ reactions. This is Atlanta, though, and interracial dating is common enough here that not many people are outright shocked to see a white man with a black woman.
User Detail :Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 19, 2004 at 12:00 am #17797
Hey, if people dig each other, rock on. And I think it’s a bit foolish to reduce it so much – evidently, the woman with whom Strom Thurmond had a kid (oh, the delicious irony) didn’t have a problem with it. But then, I do try to mind my own business. Except for fora like this that are just asking for me to know it all. (: I’m white, never dated a black but really lusted after a black woman in my dorm one year in school. Not cause she was black, but because she was really cool. While there may be an element of the exotic in the attraction, it’s just silly to say that every white guy dating a black woman is just curious. Remember, all generalisations are wrong.
User Detail :Name : dersk25709, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 34, City : amsterdam, State : NA Country : The Netherlands, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, February 24, 2004 at 12:00 am #18086
Well white men have been raping our women for years. There are some sisters out there who are stupid enough to beleive that there are no good black men. Any black woman who would freely give herself to a white man is a damn fool white men are incapable of loving a black woman. How can you love a woman of a race you dont even see as human. All that white man wants is sex and or drugs those are two reasons white women and men date black people.
User Detail :Name : chris32134, City : waldorf, State : MD Country : United States, February 25, 2004 at 12:00 am #33837
I’ve datd white guys and i personally don’t see what’s so wrong with it. So what if they raped black women way back when. That was how may years ago?! Get over it. If a man respects you and loves you then it shouldn’t matter if they are black, white, asian, hispanic…
User Detail :Name : kimmi, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : ontario, State : CA Country : United States, March 1, 2004 at 12:00 am #29356
John29262ParticipantMarch 15, 2004 at 12:00 am #28943
You seem to forget how many Black men were lynched after he had sex with a white woman, back in the day, and how white women told them she was raped to protect her image as a pure woman!! This still happens today in Georgia where a young black boy had consensual sex in school with a young white girl and her father found out and he was convicted of child molestation and is now serving 10 years in prison because she accused him of raping her to protect herself from her dad who is a known racist. This has happened many times in Georgia, so I know it happens in other parts of the country. Sure, we were raped and had sex with white men back in slavery, however its no difference than what our black men do to us today by having sex with women and impregnating them so they can put another ‘notch’ on their penises’to determine how many women/girls they can impregnate. This disrespect is not just a white man issue but a MAN issue.
User Detail :Name : Gloria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 50ish, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, March 25, 2004 at 12:00 am #39684
There have been numerous occasions when I was out with a white or other non-black male, and both black men and white women would point, stare and whisper at us all the time. Many times these black men would be with non-black women. Sadly these people want to have their cake and eat it, too.
User Detail :Name : Candy, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 18, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, March 18, 2005 at 12:00 am #23425
It think the reason black men get upset when they see black women with white men is that deep down, black men are still very jealous of white men and want everything a white man has. A black man is never satisfied until he has the white man’s money in his pocket and his woman in his bed. They feel inferior to white men. They have no problem dating white women (it makes them feel as if they have moved up and they can say ‘Hey white man! Look at me! I can get the prize just like you can!’) but their self-esteem shrinks as soon as they realize that a lot of black women are tired of dealing with them and their b.s. and are moving on to men of different races. A black woman is the only thing in this country a black man feels he has total control over, so they try to make us feel worthless and undesirable, and abuse us to make us stay with them. They really need to get over themselves.
User Detail :Name : Nikki25532, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 23, City : Interlochen, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, March 22, 2005 at 12:00 am #45450
Often when I’m out with my white fiance, we get stares (and sometimes grimaces) mainly from black men and white women. White men usually give us curious looks. We’ve even recieved a ‘thumbs-up’ or a nod of approval from white men. I remember when we were at a check-out line in the store and a white woman who was ahead of us turned around, took one look at us and gasped right in front of us. It seemed like she didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s not often when one sees a black woman with a white man, especially when the woman has an engagement ring. As for my feelings about black women/white men relationships, I sincerely hope the numbers rise dramatically!
User Detail :Name : Lynn-H22494, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Louisville, State : KY Country : United States, March 24, 2005 at 12:00 am #40977
I would sincerely hope that African American women NOT take the ‘route’ you’ve taken. I honestly do not understand how any Black woman could lay down with a white man, in light of the racism that still exists today. Personally, my strong Black pride, dignity and sense of self worth would not allow me to, if you’ll pardon the expression, ‘stoop so low’. No man can love, respect and understand me the way a Black man can. It’s just a matter of finding the RIGHT brotha. Until then, being alone is a better option than disgracing myself and my parents by bringing a white man into my life. Not to mention, I truly believe that white people STILL feel a strong sense of superiority over Blacks, and generally have no respect for us. Lastly, take a good, long look at that white man when he snuggles up to you…and remember Justin Volpe. I’m sure his girlfriend was quite shocked to learn that he participated in sodomizing Abner Louima. Then again, I can’t understand why she would be; I certainly wasn’t surprised in the least. I’m never surprised by the things white people do to Black people.
User Detail :Name : Rhonda-P-Outlaw24254, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 43, City : Laurelton, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, July 10, 2005 at 12:00 am #18987
I’m a black woman and my husband-to-be is white. Whenever we’re in public we get looks of surprise (and sometimes dismay) from white women or black men. There seems to be a double standard at work here. I could be incorrect about this, but it seems that when it comes to today’s white male/black female relationships, many black men find it repulsive, citing that in the days of slavery, white men would often rape black female slaves. Yet these days it’s fine for a black man to date a white woman. I find the whole thing mind-boggling.
User Detail :Name : DeeDee25801, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Louisville, State : KY Country : United States, July 10, 2005 at 12:00 am #22935
I’ll give NJ Wayne credit for pointing out the glaring hypocrisy in his explanation. First let me clarify that guys in general always categorize women on the level of involvment. Not just white guys on black women. Doesn’t matter what race you are or race you date. There are women out there that you just want to screw (as Wayne would put it) and then there are those who you want long-term, which also includes screwing. This isn’t just relegated to inter-racial romances; how ridiculous is that? With the high divorce rate in the United States for same-race couples, how can anyone on speculate the chances of an inter-racial couple’s longevity? Love isn’t a science. The only negative reaction you will get is if the person in question is attractive. If you are a white woman and you see a white man that you are attracted to hooked up with a black woman, I think you will spark a reaction, for the simple fact that the white woman would feel that the white guy in question has low standards because, let’s face it, white people see black people as inferior. So if you see a white person with a black person, they look at that as a demotion – “how dare they go there with that.” Keep in mind, this only happens if the person is attractive. If they are not good-looking, trust me, they would pay it little mind.
User Detail :Name : Desmond25715, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Alexandria, State : VA Country : United States, July 10, 2005 at 12:00 am #27917
Who cares? I’ll tell you who: People with deep-seated racial problems. Instead of just seeing a couple, they see a black and white couple. As a black woman, if I see an Asian and white couple, I don’t get upset, but sometimes people have resentment and feel that any type of consortment with the ‘enemy’ is disrespectful to them and their race. Imagine living in the South after the Civil War and seeing a Yankee girl and a Confederate man together. Even 3-5 yrs after the war, people would not like it. So in a day when racism still exists, to some people, interracial dating feels like treason.
User Detail :Name : D. Murray, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 21, City : Richmond, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Student/ Literacy Tutor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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