Watching kids get hurt

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  • #10938

    SR28483
    Participant

    Yesterday I was at a store and saw a woman yank her child (he looked about three) by his shirt collar. She was yelling at him for slamming her car door. Then she yanked him by the ear and shoved him. I’m not trying to start a discussion about corporal punishment, but I believe the woman was hurting the child. Since it was in public and in my full view, I felt guilty for not saying something, and confused about whether it would be appropriate to say something. I’ve seen this quite a lot in public and never know what to do. Any thoughts?

    User Detail :  

    Name : SR28483, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 21, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, 
    #46616

    Bruce
    Participant

    In order to make a success of themselves in the real world, children must be taught from day one the ways of this world. I don’t mean everything at once, but they must be taught in general that positive actions have positive reactions and negative actions have negative reactions. In this way a parent is a teacher. What kind of negative reaction would you prefer? If you say the parent should just talk to the child, please keep in mind the potential seriousness of the child’s bad act. Ask yourself if it could evolve into something worse, and ask yourself if the child would take that no-no seriously when they’re not aware of the ways of this world.

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    Name : Bruce, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 44, City : Temple, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, 
    #33315

    Shari28086
    Participant

    I think if you had said something to the mother, you would have gotten an earful. However, her reaction to her child’s behavior was clearly inappropriate. In reply to the first response: There is a huge difference between what was seen and the comment that speaking to the child means saying “It’s a no-no.” A three-year-old child is old enough and intelligent enough to explain for himself why a particular action is unsafe. Talking to the child is not enough. The child has to explain it back to you. Then you know they understand what you said and are less likely to repeat the behavior. That doesn’t mean they won’t do it again to test your convictions, however. If your pattern of discipline is to yell at your children, they will tune you out. You may as well be talking to a wall. Discussion with a clear definition of responsibility works – not yelling or corporal punishment.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Shari28086, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 28, City : Canton, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18154

    Bren
    Participant

    Do you have any children? Perhaps you misread the original question. The three-year-old slammed a car door, and as a result, the mother pulled his collar, shoved him, yelled and dragged him by the ear. This is not teaching that negative actions result in negative consequences. This is abuse. When a child does something intentionally harmful, they must be taught, immediately, that such things should not be done. Each child responds to discipline differently, so one method does not work for all. When a child does something thoughtless, explanation of the consequences (e.g. slamming the car door will damage the car) should be enough to rectify the problem. And for something so petty, the parent should remind the child before he exits the car not to slam the door. No actions of a three-year-old warrant being pulled by the collar, dragged by the ear or being shoved.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Bren, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 25, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Day Care Director, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #42450

    Rob S.
    Member

    I dont agree with physical punishment,and some parents I reckon take it too far. I have seen the same scenario hundreds of times. A child cries in public, the parent sais ‘shut up crying or I will smack you one’. The child dosent stop, then the parent dose smack the child. It dosent take a genius to work out that the initial reaction from a child when struck in anger, is to cry their point accross. All physical punishment dose I reckon is make the child afraid of you, and I dont think thats healthy for the relationship, use non physical means instead. And when dads are very vicious on thier children in public,it dose make me feel like saying to him ‘how would you like someone to do that to you’, but I never do, and i thought it was best you did,nt too. Or it would of resulted in a verbal or fight between you and the parent. Just curse theire foolishness or harshness and try to put it out of your mind, as disturbing as it may seem to witness, you cant rearly do to much about it.

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    Name : Rob S., Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Poole, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : na, 
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