- January 13, 1999 at 12:00 am #10484
I have a friend who is very obese and getting larger every year. We’re worried he’s going to go the way of the late John Candy. He’s only 26. How do we approach him about our concerns and fears without offending him? I used to be overweight myself, and the last thing I needed was someone telling me so because I knew it already. None of us want him to die or even come close to it.
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User Detail :Name : Worried, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, May 12, 2001 at 12:00 am #25979
I don’t think its possible for any adult to not know that being overweight is considered to be a health risk and that many in our society view overweight people with disdain. But losing weight is very difficult, perhaps impossible, for some people. What is the point in talking about this to your friend? Its highly unlikely he is going to say ‘I never realized I was overweight. Its a good thing you pointed that out to me.’ Frankly, I think when people make comments about someone’s weight it makes it more difficult for them because sometimes they use food to comfort the hurt they feel about the comments about their weight.
User Detail :Name : Margaret, City : Joliet, State : IL Country : United States, April 8, 2002 at 12:00 am #15800
I have always been somewhat overweight. In my secondary school years, I became more and more overweight. I was up to 247 lbs, but now I have started to lose weight. Do not tell the person that they need to lose weight. It will just cause fighting. I know. Nothing anybody could say would change my mind. I even heard about all of the dangers of being overweight (and I knew because I wasn’t even middle age yet, I would have even more problems). It seemed like every day in the news there was something new about the dangers of being fat. I think what really changed me was a close friend who decided he wanted to lose weight (20-30 lbs), but mostly build muscle and that type of thing. Every time I was with him, he talked about how he wasn’t going to eat dessert, doing exercise, the newest exercise he heard of, and the successes he had. Although I was uncomfortable a little bit at first, I have now decided that because he was so successful, I can be, too. I never actually tried a diet before. All I have ever heard is ‘it’s impossible to lose weight.’ Well, I have now started exercising religiously every day for about an hour and a half to two hours. The weight is coming off. I would also suggest not eating and offering candy and other junk food to the person all of the time. Also try to do activities that are more active. Some things will probably be too hard for him, but just taking a walk after dinner or something else creative could work, too. Don’t make it seem like you are trying to make him do something. Rather, you participate in the behavior you want him to emulate. It is amazing how much people want to fit in with their social groups.
User Detail :Name : K26922, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 19, City : na, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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