Home › Forums › General Diversity › Submissive with bad past relationship
- This topic has 11 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 7 months ago by
Michele.
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- February 15, 2004 at 12:00 am #10421
Michael20706ParticipantHaving looked into questions of who I am, I have decided that I am submissive, searching for a complementary dominant personality. The problem: I was raised Christian, and discovered there that I apparently cannot act in the service of an entity to which I am supposed to be subservient, an obvious obstacle to any D/S relationship I may have. Any advice?
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Name : Michael20706, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : bi-curious, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 20, City : Livingston, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : undergrad, Education level : 2 Years of College, September 2, 2004 at 12:00 am #47192
MicheleParticipantYou’re not worshipping your partner like you would worship God. You’re also not being brainwashed by a cult leader whom you follow blindly. You’re having sex, and D/S just adds a little drama and spice to it. You’re over thinking things. You’re not going against your religion because you are subservient to your boss, are you? You weren’t sinning by listening to your parents growing up. As long as you’re two consenting adults and not intentionally hurting anyone, I don’t see a problem.
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Name : Michele, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 32, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Reservationist, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, September 20, 2004 at 12:00 am #16321
J-French21287ParticipantAs a devout Christian myself, I found your question very intriguing. I am not sure whether you think that you could not both serve God and your dominant ‘master’, or if someone in church told you that D/S (I’m assuming sexual relationship here) was somehow inherently sinful, but I’ll try to respond anyway. If you still consider yourself a practicing Christian, I would strongly recommend taking the issue up with God in your prayer life. It may be that He has some purpose for you involving this trait. It may be that He has a special mate out there for you, or whatever. Even if this is not the case, it couldn’t hurt, and may help clarify why you identify this way. If someone in church told you it was inherently sinful, I don’t know about that. The Bible does not specifically prohibit any sexual practice Within Marriage. So again, pray about it. Anyway, I hope this helps clear up your confusion.
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Name : J-French21287, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, September 21, 2004 at 12:00 am #42166
Vail24469ParticipantWe all balance feelings of doninance and submission within us. My advice is to try and discover why submission is um, donminating you. Rather than trying to find a co-dependent, find the assertive part within you. It’s there and it’s gonna get out someday, somehow.
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Name : Vail24469, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mutt, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, October 23, 2004 at 12:00 am #19242
AnnaMemberYou can be subservient and infact Godly biblical women were very much so. But you cant be submissive to everyone. Find a good husband to which you want to be around and do anything for. Someone who really captivates your heart. Unfortunately, being christian means not being able to have everything you want.
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Name : Anna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, November 24, 2004 at 12:00 am #24981
john-smithParticipantThe problem with philosophy is there are an endless series of answers. Just settle on the one you like. To resolve this moral conundrum one simply needs to explore the term ‘subservient’. Obviously you can act in the service on an entity (say, the US military in the person of your Superior Officer) to which you are supposed to be subservient while still being faithful to God. Right? So, you simply have a relationship with your Domme/Dom that is no more involved then that which you would have with a man who can order you to kill another human being. See? Easy! The moral question really isn’t your religion. If one believes (I mean, REALLY believes) that there is in fact a god and a heaven and a hell, then one would sacrifice every second of every day to Her service. With the possible punishment for making a moral error being ETERNAL DAMNATION. OK? ETERNAL! DAMNATION!!! why would you take any risks? Why would you take any moral risks? If these milionaire christians REALLY believed in God, they would give up all their riches and be living a life of poverty in the service of others. I mean, maybe these fine protestant theories saying its good to acumulate wealth MIGHT be correct, but, why would you risk ETERNAL DAMNATION in the event they are not? To my mind, the most important passage in the bible for a millionare is, ‘it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle then for a rich man to find the kingdom of heaven’. Until a millionare addresses that passage, I am not buying that he really, really, really believes in God. I mean, what if thou shalt not kill is literaly what She meant. I mean, maybe Jesus really did mean ‘turn the other cheek’ (not, turn the other cheek in less your fighting an agressor or for your country or to defend yourself) Look, no matter how horrible things might be for us if the bad guys conqured america, that is nothing compared to an eternaty of torment! Why risk it? Why risk enforcing the death penalty if it MIGHT, JUST MIGHT be against the 10 commandments and dooming not only you, the governor to eternal damnation, but also the poor schlub who you let pull the switch? So, have fun…
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Name : john-smith, City : kenosha, State : WI Country : United States, November 25, 2004 at 12:00 am #32168
GatorboyMemberIf you can, in good conscience, be subservient to a boss at work, then you can be also with a sexual partner. If you’ve become agnostic, then you have taken on the burden of making your own moral judgements, and then living by them.
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Name : Gatorboy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 55, City : Melbourne, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : retired, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, November 28, 2004 at 12:00 am #45894
Liz22543ParticipantIf I am understanding your quary you are worried about putting your Dom before your God. As a sub I can say you do not have to worship your Dom you simply make sure his wishes are taken care of. Really it is like the old 50’s style relationships where the man was always right and the wife took care of his every need. You can stay a Christian and keep God in the place in your life where he belongs
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Name : Liz22543, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Breda, State : NA Country : The Netherlands, Occupation : Shop Owner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, December 18, 2004 at 12:00 am #30589
Annasteven P.MemberIf you are talking about couples in general, my ex husband and I had a similar problem. He was religious and very gentle. I wore the pants, as people used to say. People meddled with us, and naturally, we both wanted to fit in with them, when in fact, we were opposites who closed each other’s gaps in this unusual respect among straight people. It really screwed us up to have to pretend otherwise. We were young at the time. If you believe God loves you however you are, get out there and be happy if you’re not hurting anyone. Good luck.
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Name : Annasteven P., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 47, City : Everett, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : legal secretary, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 3, 2005 at 12:00 am #14753
zaneParticipantI’ve studied the Bible a good bit in my short life so far, and I take it from your question that you are referring to an issue that comes up in the first commandment and again in Jesus’s statement that a person cannot serve two masters, but only hate one and love the other, and if I understand you correctly, you feel that in letting yourself cut loose in the exercise of your interest, you’ll be doing something really wrong. The final decision is yours, but let me offer you some things to think about. First, most people knowledgeable on the subject will tell you that the ultimate underlying meaning of God’s Law is to love him and each other with all our hearts. Loving someone, in any earnest way, can hardly break this law, nor preclude you from loving as many people as you are ‘supposed to.’ Next I would point out that we are told to meditate day and night on the Law, and to pray without ceasing. Some people interpret this to mean literally pray without ceasing, but some people find it more meaningful to interpret it as consecrating everything you do with the gifts and traits God gave you to the fulfillment of his will, in other words, make everything about you and all that you do a prayer. If you believe God has created or otherwise allowed this style of love in you, I would argue that the truest way to honor him is to fulfill the office to the best of your abilities. Finally I will point out that Jesus came as a servant, and reminded us that those who serve as willingly and faithfully as he did are doing God’s work. I don’t see an inherent conflict in your lifestyle, unless your partner instructs you to blaspheme God, in which case things are stickier than anyone can deal with.
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Name : zane, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Student of Jesus, Age : 20, City : phila, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,  - AuthorPosts
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