Straight and Gay male friends

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  • #2557

    DuaneD
    Member

    Why do straight men have issues with being friends with gay men? I work in an office and everyone knows about me (I was outted by some other gay dudes) I am masculine, and pretty much have always stayed to myself. My question arises because one of the women I go to lunch with sometimes, told me that straight guys ask questions about me. They want to hang out with me, but they don’t want to be labeled gay, or they don’t want me to come on to them. I always think this is funny (vanity) because the guys that are the most concerned about me coming on to them are usually the furthest from my type (plus I don’t shit where I eat). Why do straight men think that they can be “just friends” with a woman, but they can’t with a gay man that totally has no interest in them, even when that friendship can be “just friends?”

    User Detail :  

    Name : DuaneD, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Secular Humanist, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 
    #21056

    Omelio
    Member

    men in general are thought to lack sexual self controlled. Homosexuality is considered abnormal and to too many people is evidence of even less self control. you’ll notice how homosexuality is too often equated with pedophilia because if you would do something as crazy as have sex with men you’re probably crazy enough to have sex with a child. and in the end crazy enough to pursue a heterosexual man even though he’s not interested in you

    User Detail :  

    Name : Omelio, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Theist, Age : 24, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Draftman, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #21078

    ShainaS
    Member

    In my opinion its because they don’t want to be labelled gay. According to them being gay is not macho and since the society wants men to be all manly and perceives people who are gay as feminine( which is so not true) they are SCARED! I have also noticed that most of the time its fear of the unknown. My boyfriend always makes faces or groans whenever I talk about gay marriage and equal rights for gay. He does admit that he has no problem with gay people but he is so accustomed to living up to the standards that men can be only one thing and that is manly he automatically makes expressions even though he dosen’t mean to. Hope this helps.

    User Detail :  

    Name : ShainaS, Gender : Female, Race : Indian, City : Fort Worth, State : TX Country : United States, 
    #21081

    Dot
    Member

    Granted I live in L.A. and work in the arts, but I’ve never actually met any straight men who have openly expressed problems with gays. I do know this exists in some places so I must conclude it’s environmental and not an inborn discrimination. In any place where gays are disproportionately successful you find people more willing to emulate them and be their friends than those who want to talk smack.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dot, Gender : Female, Age : none, City : L.A., State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 
    #21138

    Sam
    Member

    I think men wants to avoid situation like sexual harassment. E.g. when a man make sexual advances to a woman at work place, woman can file sexual harassment charge saying that “she is scared coming to the work”. Men feel same when there is a masculine gay man around. I have not seen men have any issues when a feminine gay man is around. Men are not afraid of feminine gay man.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sam, City : Lewisville, State : TX Country : United States, 
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