Should I come out to my family/friends?

Home Forums Sexual Orientation Should I come out to my family/friends?

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  • #2494

    AE
    Member

    I know for sure that I am bisexual. After many years, I’ve learned to accept and embrace my sexuality. My mother, my best friend, my boyfriend and possibly my father know about my orientation. My boyfriend is the only one who completley accepted it. Everyone else who I came out to was reluctant to take the truth. I have lost several friendships due to this. I want to come out completly, as I am sick of pretending to be someone who I am not. But I’m leary to come out to specific people. For example, my father’s side of the family is very conservative about beliefs that wander outside of the boundaries of their religion. My relationship with each of them is fragile enough to the extent that I believe if I come out to them, they will cease to love me. I also have very close friends that frown

    User Detail :  

    Name : AE, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, City : Undisclosed, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Middle class, 
    #20657

    TM
    Member

    My advice to you is to think about what you are doing overall, I don’t know you but I say this in love, please think about this, one thing about being in this type of lifestyle is that you open yourself up to all types of disease and emotional turmoil. I know you probably think it is ok on the surface, but when you look below the surface there are some long term effects that aren’t really good. Women wer not designed to be with other women. I wonder if something has transpired in your life, knowingly or unbeknowing to you that caused you to have these emotional feelings and desires. I speak from experience, trust me, it isn’t worth it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : TM, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, 
    #20661

    Dot
    Member

    Most of my gay friends “came out” only to find that their families already either knew or suspected. In a related story, I married into a conservative ethnic family that was horrified by my race, religious beliefs, age, career choice, geographical comfort zone and anything else you can think of. The first two years was hell but eventually people get used to anything.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dot, Gender : Female, Age : none, City : L.A., State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 
    #20667

    JasonK
    Member

    This is a tough call, but in general, from personal experiences as well as hearing the coming out stories of many people throughout the country (and the world in some cases), it’s generally the right thing to do. If you are living in an environment where people are not accepting of this, then be careful, as there may be safety concerns. However, if you’re in a more liberal environment (as I am in NYC), it is an overwhelming relief to do so. You are not opening yourself up to disease or long-term harm by coming out. You are actually more likely to suffer more in the long-term by “hiding in the closet” because of living in constant fear, pressure, and shame to some extent. You’ll definitely experience some difficulty, but people are often accepting over time.

    User Detail :  

    Name : JasonK, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Asian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 29, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, 
    #20694

    i know that coming out is panful, but think of it this way. if they cant except you for who you truly are, then you shouldnt waste your time trying to get them to love you. i wish that i could come out to somone i trust to, but it is VERY hard for me to talk to people. you might want to call a person you trust and ask tham, of course ask your boyfreind.

    User Detail :  

    Name : norbertneuman, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 17, City : mahtomedi, State : MN Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #21053

    Omelio
    Member

    but then everyone except my family always assumed i was gay anyway. but your sexuality shouldn’t be a big deal so you shouldn’t make it a big deal. if you find yourself with a girlfriend and people ask you who you’re seeing you tell them about her just like you do or did about your boyfriend. if they blow you off it’s a decision that they are making and there is no reason to take the blame of that on yourself. you have some benefit as a female that you can join in with males admiring another female with little reaction. I would say that until you have a girlfriend the fact that you like girls is probably irrelevant. unless of course you like being set up with dates by your family lol in which case they may need that information 🙂

    User Detail :  

    Name : Omelio, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Theist, Age : 24, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Draftman, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
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