Shedding a light on friendship

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  • #3754

    Alissa
    Participant

    I’m very light-skinned and a girlfriend is darker. Often she has made strange statements to me that lead me to believe she may be resentful or jealous of this. How can I tell her not to take herself for granted?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Alissa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #39210

    Angee
    Member

    You have to realize that a lot of darker black women grew up with a “color complex.” I am considerably lighter than some of my friends and family, and I was usually singled out as the “pretty one” with the “good hair.” Thankfully, none of my cousins or my sister holds this against me, but one of my closest friends takes offense whenever we are out together and a guy asks for my number and not hers. She always claims it is because I am light with long hair. I try to say otherwise, but she won’t hear it. I have found out that it takes a long time to erase the years of hearing from parents or other relatives to “take your black ass on” or something to that effect. I hope your friend will someday be able to understand she has worth, no matter what her color.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Angee, Gender : F, Age : 24, City : Clarksville (Ft. Campbell, KY), State : TN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #33209

    Kerry
    Member

    The reverse is true. I am “technically” Caucasian, but due to my Italian heritage I am very dark (I am also part Irish, Russian and Ukraine). I am often mistaken for Hispanic, American Indian or part African American. I grew up in a predominantly Irish area, so I have been discriminated against because of my dark skin, hair and eyes. I don’t think the hate and stereotypes presented in racism are limited to only those outside one’s own race. It seems to be just as strong within ethnic groups.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kerry, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 29, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Human Resources, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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