Rape fantasies?

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  • #11007

    Li
    Participant

    I was talking to a male friend about whether women really fantasize about being raped. It’s supposed to be one of the most popular fantasies, but I have my doubts. I think women fantasize about being seduced and it gets lumped into this category. My friend says he’s actually been with a couple women who wanted to be ‘rag dolls’ – slapped, talked to nasty, etc., and that it made him uncomfortable. Now I’m wondering if he was just sending weird vibes or if many woman are into this. I’d also like to know if anyone has had sex that ended up with the woman having bruises on her thighs. You always see this defense in rape trials, but all the woman I’ve talked to about it don’t buy it. What do the rest of you think?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Li, Gender : F, City : Brownsburg, State : IN Country : United States, 
    #24718

    April
    Member

    I think Li is on the money: the ‘rape fantasy’ is not a fantasy about rape at all, but rather one based on internalized concepts of masculine and feminine sexual roles. Taking into consideration how one defines rape is important. Rape meaning sexual intercourse perpetrated against a person’s will implies that one has a complete and absolute will. Most of us can admit that the thoughts and feelings that lie behind our will are usually mixed ones. I can be excited by the idea of being powerless in a sexual experience, but my fear of and disgust about having this actually happen as rape are stronger and take precedence. Therefore, my will can be defined as against being raped. That doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize about being aggressively seduced. If a woman wants to be ‘seduced’ (in whatever way that is defined for her), then the rape fantasy is not one of rape, but of a forceful male ‘taking’ her – but in the context of her CHOICE and desire to be taken as a more passive and weaker female. Her will in this case is not violated.

    User Detail :  

    Name : April, Gender : F, City : Honolulu, State : HI Country : United States, 
    #29618

    Redeemed-One30107
    Participant

    I can’t imagine any woman fantasizing about being raped. In my opinion, lovemaking is something a woman wants to give, not something she wants forcefully taken from her. If there are women out there who do fantasize about this, I think they are rare.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Redeemed-One30107, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 52, City : Newport News, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Human resources field rep, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #31529

    Marc-J
    Participant

    The problem with saying that women have ‘rape fantasies’ is that when people think of ‘rape,’ we picture a man threatening a woman’s life and beating her up while having sex. That is not required for even first-degree rape. Most studies say that more than 50 percent of women have rape fantasies. These include being kidnapped by a pirate and being forced to be his mistress (does that sound like any romance novels?). A ‘rape’ fantasy is a fantasy in which the woman is basically passive. The prevailing theory is that women have ‘rape’ fanatasies so they do not feel bad about their sexuallity. They are being forced to have sex, so they are not responsible for their sexual feelings.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Marc-J, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 21, City : Storrs, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #13783

    Linda22705
    Participant

    I’ve asked a select few of my girlfriends, and none of us have ever fanasized about being raped. An unfortunate majority of my friends have been sexually molested at some point in their lives, and forced rape is the last thing that sounds sexy to them. I think that it’s interesting that many men insist that women have these type of fantasies.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Linda22705, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 33, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #39909

    Beth23214
    Participant

    Rape – sexual intercourse by a man with a woman WITHOUT HER CONSENT and chiefly by force or deception. This is the dictionary definition. Marc J. wants us to believe that being forced to have sex and be someone’s plaything against our will is something out of a romance novel. Being forced to have sex is not romantic. There is a tremendous difference between having fantasies about being swept off your feet during a seduction and being raped against your will. Sex, whether it be quiet and slow or with a more aggressive lover playing a little rough for their partner, happens when two people mutually agree to give their bodies and minds to each other. Rape only requires that one person makes that plan.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Beth23214, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 34, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Freelance writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #23303

    Catherine
    Participant

    I kind of understand what you’re saying but a lot of men really won’t want to. Until they do, date / acquaintance rape will continue to happen.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Catherine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : London, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : arts management, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18040

    Katrina26722
    Participant

    Some who HAVE been raped will have this kind of fantasy. This is almost always accompanied by very deep shame, but it’s a response to the trauma. The mind wants to work through what happened, and it wants more information for something that just doesn’t make sense no matter how much one tries to make it. These very well may fantasize violence as part of these fantasies also. And these are not flashbacks…they may be what one inevitably thinks of when aroused, or one may find it the only thing that arouses her…especially for one for whom sexual abuse or rape is all she’s ever experienced.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Katrina26722, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Moses Lake, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #16716

    Judy-L
    Participant

    I think you are perfectly correct in the nuances that you are feeling about the rape fantasies. I have found that all this is confounded through the looking glass of conservatives think tanks that ATTEMPT to smash the world of rape fantasizies. I meditate more now , just for the reasons given in this article, of rape itself. nd finally I have found a PEACEFULL serenity in my physical life with a drink called Tungusta. Contact me now and I wiill discuss this super food agent WITH you. Call 732-759-2206. AND leave your name and phone number and the best days and times to call you back for Judy.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Judy-L, City : Willingboro, State : NJ Country : United States, 
    #20503

    Dina M.
    Participant

    Many women have rape fantasies, myself included. And quite a few people like the BDSM themes, as well as some general rough sex. It’s not that people are OK with rape or long for it – they like the fantasy and they like consensual sex.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dina M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : unsure, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Poet, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
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