Not a weighty issue for black guys?

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  • #5077

    Dana
    Member

    I’m a young white woman. Lately I’ve noticed that every black guy I know has either hit on me, asked me out or told me he was interested. I’ve dated a couple of them, but I am not currently in a relationship. I’ve found that most white guys, however, only see me as a friend, or not at all. I’ve been wondering if my weight had anything to do with this abnormality (I say abnormality because I’m exposed to far more white males than black ones). I’m not huge, but I’m not tiny, either. I’m about 185 lbs. on a 5’7″ frame. I find that most white guys seem very preoccupied with weight, whereas most black guys don’t seem to care. Is this true, or is it just me?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dana, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, 
    #29402

    Sera
    Participant

    You’re not imagining things. It’s a cultural difference (with exceptions) between black men and white men. The black community is more accepting – indeed celebratory – of rounded women (remember ‘Baby Got Back’?), and there are lower incidences of eating disorders among black women as well. I know black men who even disdain women who fit the American definition of ‘slim.’ I think part of this is because American black women were not held up as fashionable and beautiful in the public eye until well into the 1980s. Being ignored as a target market has its good and bad points, among them not feeling a relentless pressure to conform to difficult standards. No women who look like you in ’50s girdle ads? ’60s diet ads? ’70s and ’80s underwear ads? A neglectful kind of freedom, that invisibility. Black women went about their business normally, and black men basically said, ‘Alright by me.’ It’s become rather culturally ingrained. Meanwhile, white men have had ‘skinny’ shoved in their faces so long that they’re ashamed to deviate from what’s expected of them (supermodels), even if they want to.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sera, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #34662

    Michelle20555
    Participant

    Many of my female friends who are African American always told me, ‘Nobody likes a bone but a dog!’ I never heard that saying from Caucasians.

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    Name : Michelle20555, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Las Vegas, State : NV Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #16686

    Kristina
    Member

    It is true: black men are more attracted to a ‘meatier’ woman. Although I can’t say the mainstream want someone who is downright overweight, black men do like women with bigger breasts, hips, thighs and especially buttocks. In other words, they like the Marilyn Monroe body style. A woman like this is considered thick (in a good way) or ‘phat.’ A skinny black woman may have to even consider dating white men, because the black men may not be as attracted to her.

    White men, on the other hand, seem to be attracted to a thinner body. This phenomeon is recent, and in my opininon seems to reflect certain class levels and religions. Lower class Southern whites may accept a ‘thicker’ body quicker than an educated, upper-class white. The latter would want a skinnier body because that is what is considered beautiful in the media’s eyes. Upper-class whites seem to strive more for perfection, and this influences their dating choices.

    What I would say, though, is to try to be yourself and not worry about what the mainstream thinks. I am a black woman with the ‘thick’ frame. My weight has ranged from 122-172 lbs., and yet I have had men of all races attracted to me at all weights, even white men. So although the features considered ‘ideal’ may get a man to look at you, personality will get him to stay. It may be hard to believe, but the way you look at yourself is the way others look at you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kristina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Transcriber, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #31576

    aj28973
    Participant

    You have a point in feeling that black men approve and desire a well shaped woman. So do Latino men…and also here’s a FACT! In Europe, I have notice a HUGE amount of white englishmen, frenchmen, germans and italians with shapely and beautiful women of color! I think it may be a western white man desire to prefer the skinny chicks. When I travel, and I do every year, I could’nt help but notice how the rest of the world (it seems!) prefers a shapely, more womanly female…Maybe the US is hipnotised or something, but I LOVE a woman with something to hold on to…other than bones! But, that’s just me!

    User Detail :  

    Name : aj28973, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mixed race, Religion : Christian, Age : 27, City : dc, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : grad student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #42195

    Sean28278
    Participant

    It has always been unspoken general knowledge that black women are not as receptive to the idea of performing oral sex as white women are.

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    Name : Sean28278, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Pontiac, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 
    #36228

    Yuna
    Member

    Unfortunately, a lot of black guys like light skin. White skin is, most of the time, considered the ideal. It’s only natural for them growing up in a society with white images everywhere they turn. A dark-skinned black woman of a heavy weight in most cases would not be desired by black men. So I think that it is not necessarily your weight they are attracted to, although it is partly, but it is your skin color, your straight hair and your fine features.

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    Name : Yuna, Gender : F, Age : 17, City : Queens, State : NY Country : United States, 
    #32788

    Dan-Cubrich27329
    Participant

    Dana, have you noticed some of the black women that are available. Man, they are ugly! I’m not saying you are ugly but you’re probably a beauty queen to the black guys compared to what they have in their own race! DC.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dan-Cubrich27329, City : Omaha, State : NE Country : United States, 
    #33380

    Courtney31867
    Participant

    Is it just you? Oh no honey it’s not just you.ALL white men have a problem with bigger women.They don’t care if you are just a little chunky or really big.If you are not slim then they automatically treat you diffrent.No matter what.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Courtney31867, City : Not gona tell, State : NA Country : United States, 
    #29337

    Annie
    Member

    In many cultures all over the world, men prefer heavier women. The Caucasian obsession with skinny is relatively recent. Look at art from the 15th century with Rembrandt, the women are big. Being big is/was a sign of wealth all around the world and in different centuries because obviously if you are wealthy,you have more food to eat. It will change. Fashions change

    User Detail :  

    Name : Annie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : A, State : NA Country : Spain, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #16944

    Charles
    Member

    Yuna, whom posted in from NY, is well off base. I’ve been a black male for 38 years. I know that almost all black men like heavier women. Skinny white women do not get very far with black men. Hips are a must. Outright fat is not often considered attractive, amongst black men. There are exceptions. A tall thin black woman may get a lot of play from black men. By tall I mean 5’10 to 6′. Maybe it is the long thin legs. But I do know they are looked upon as attractive. Short skinny black women are not often seen as attractive to black men. I will admit that a lot of black people are concerned about color. Blacks that are darker than even brown, have a harder time finding mates. Black people are not crazy, it is a fact that the darker you are the more discrimination you will face in this country. I certainly do not think it is right. But that is the way the ball bounces.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Charles, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 38, City : Portland, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : Network Admin, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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