No respect for overweight people?

Home Forums Disabilities/Challenges No respect for overweight people?

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  • #10578

    Susan S
    Member

    My weight has yo-yo’d most of my life. I have found that when I am in my normal range for my height, people treat me completely different than when I am heavier. Men seem to have more of a negative reaction. I’ve wondered if this is because of the media presentation of what the ideal woman should look like.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Susan S, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 45, City : Flint, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #30684

    Kim-M
    Participant

    My weight has also yo-yo’d over the years, and when I was thinner I got a lot more respect and was treated ‘normal.’ I think this has a lot to do with the media and overwieght people being the butt of every joke. The media portrays women as being obsessively thin, and there are always new diets coming out to quickly lose wieght. If the media would just portray an average woman who is not a Paris Hilton lookalike, maybe everyone would see how beautiful women can be with a little meat on their bones. Just because you are not runway thin does not mean you are not human and have feelings about the way you look. You should be happy with yourself, no matter how much your weight fluctuates.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kim-M, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Swartz Creek, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #44002

    Kristen26235
    Participant

    I have recently dropped 30 lbs and noticed the same thing. Where I used to be ‘invisible,’ now I get better treatment from coworkers, friends and strangers. I think it has something to do with people’s perception of overweight people as lazy, selfish and not taking good care of themselves. It also has something to do with a slimmer person’s self-confidence.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kristen26235, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 28, City : na, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #31356

    John29188
    Participant

    I’m one of those naturally thin people dieters hate. I can eat as bad as I want and never exercise and still weigh 140 at 5’11’. I can’t imagine being fat. I’ve had plenty of over weight friends and the subject of weight generally does not come up. I ‘know’ there is all sorts of stuff that goes into a persons propensity to gain weight or not. But on the flip side I also know you can’t gain what you don’t eat. So personally since I don’t have to deal with it and can’t imagine accepting being overweight myself. I find it hard to understand that other people seem content to be overweight. On the flip side I don’t understand girls that worry about wanting to lose 5 lb. Because in my experience those are the ones that 5 lb? off what? For thin people that aren’t naturally thin there might be an if I can lose it why can’t you mind set. But thats just speculation on my part.

    User Detail :  

    Name : John29188, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Huntington, State : WV Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #32946

    Jake-and-Aaron
    Participant

    There’s nothing normal or okay or even tolerable about being overweight. It’s a disease, it’s a problem, and it’s unsightly. The problem is not the media’s portrayal of everyone as excessively slim, it’s this crazy women’s lib notion that being fat is okay. It’s not! It’s ugly, it’s unsightly, it’s unhealthy, and it’s unnatural. Overweight people are lazy, and they are most certainly are not taking good care of themselves. If you were taking care of yourself, you wouldn’t be overweight, would you? The reason people treat you more human when you’re slimmer is because you are. Being fat is not natural. It’s a sign that there’s something wrong with you, and makes you unattractive as a potential mate or friend.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jake-and-Aaron, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Somewhere in, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Middle class, 
    #14162

    Ems25411
    Participant

    I know what you mean but Ive also been on the opposite end of the spectrum. When I was very thin (75-poundish) I was treated like a complete freak and actually worse than I ever was when I was heavy. Complete strangers thought it was their place to tell me to cover up, to eat more, to call me an Anorexic b***h. Women were actually the worst. Also, there are no taboos in the media on “Skinny” jokes, but there’s a growing concern not to make fat jibes. I think it has a bit to do with the media, a bit to do with guilt about their own weight (I mean this applying to thin and larger people). Anyone who is not the ‘norm’ is treated this way, though it is not right.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ems25411, City : Enland, State : WY Country : United Kingdom, 
    #17676

    Stacia V.
    Member

    I’ve also been a lifelong weight yo-yo — by as much as 100 lbs. I think I was treated differently during the times I was thin, but I also think I presented myself differently – until I realized I was the same person no matter what weight I was, I think I projected more confidence when I was thin, and others responded in kind. When I was uncomfortable with being overweight, I tended to be more guarded with others. Currently, I’m heavier than I’ve ever been in my life (my medical chart says morbidly obese), but I am in good health and am happy and comfortable with myself, and I also have more friends now than ever before. I no longer stick to dark colors and avoid stripes — I embrace my size as part of who I am. I even teach body image to middle school girls!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stacia V., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : I borrow from all faiths to form my own, Age : 40, City : Burnham, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Social Worker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18499

    DBBO28606
    Participant

    Typing for my son (16): I appreciate big women because they put up with stuff skinny people don’t. And when it comes down to it, it’s more cushion for the pushing. And big women need to understand big women are the IN THING now. If you lose too much, you’ll join the anorexic crew, and be a wash.

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    Name : DBBO28606, Gender : F, Disability : Deaf, Race : Black/African American, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #22263

    Camille T.
    Participant

    I was overweight for three years, then lost the weight. Maybe it may have something to do with your attitude when you are heavier. For example, when I was a normal weight, I was outgoing, athletic, opinionated and funny. When I gained weight, I was reluctant to go to clubs with friends and co-workers. When I went out to eat with friends, I couldn’t enjoy it because I was always dieting. I was very self -conscious when I gained weight. I used to start conversations with everyone, but at my heavier weight, I stopped doing that. Now that I lost the weight, I am friendly and outgoing again.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Camille T., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 29, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #24958

    Dustin-V
    Participant

    The media doesn’t decide what an ideal woman looks like. It finds what most people like and uses that. Except for the fashion industry. For some reason, they use women who are so skinny they look like skeletons. The differences you are seeing aren’t because of the media, they are because being overweight is simply unattractive. It is unattractive because it is obviously unhealthy. The ‘no respect’ part is because attractive people seem more competent, so less attractive people seem less competent.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dustin-V, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : Bellevue, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #28614

    I would argue that people who become overweight ARE lazy and don’t take care of themselves. The quality of their work may not suffer, and they may in every other respect be functional members of society, but being overweight has a direct correlation to an inactive lifestyle and unhealthy diet (save extremely rare ‘glandular’ or ‘metabolism’ issues). Any employer conciously or subconciously is going to hire/reward/respect healthier people. However, our culture has taken the ideal to the extreme. We now find impossibly thin women disgracing the covers of every magazine under the sun. The anorexic-thin model is used to sell everything from cars to software to vacations. This extreme is unacceptable because it makes people strive and respect something that is simply unobtainable. But I also believe being overweight is equally disgusting. Healthy people look healthy and will be rewarded socially for it. Natural selection?

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    Name : Christopher, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Designer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #29838

    John
    Member

    I recently lost 20 pounds. I’ll tell you why I generally avoid overweight women as dating partners. It’s not just because I find them less attractive. For me, being overweight was part of a lifestyle. There was a direct link between how I ate and how I felt, and there’s often a viscious cycle between looking bad and low self-esteem as well. As a healthy man, I do not want to be with a woman who isn’t healthy or possibly has a ton of self-esteem issues. It’s crazy that women blame Paris Hilton and men for not accepting them. Go to the doctor, have him do a body fat analysis to see if you fall within normal range (if you’re normal, you shouldn’t worry about Paris, be yourself!) and if you’re too heavy, go to the gym and eat better. Take action for your own life and stop blaming genetics.

    User Detail :  

    Name : John, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Springville, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #30207

    Juno
    Member

    I’m guessing you probably resemble the nudes in Titian’s paintings (body-wise, anyway), or those old statues of Greek goddesses when you’re a little bit heavier. Standards of beauty change from society to society and era to era. This societally agreed standard is reached haphazardly and is a topic of fierce debate in sociology; however, it is generally agreed that media (television, pictures, paintings, engravings, statues) serves merely to propagate and enforce this standard, rather than create it.

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    Name : Juno, Gender : M, Race : Asian, Religion : Orthodox Christian, Age : 21, City : Richmond, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #32958

    Nathan20138
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s the media. Like which came first? The chicken or the egg? Attraction isn’t something that can be analyzed easily. People respond to things how they do. Paris Hilton has just as much right to look like she does as you do.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Nathan20138, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #33479

    Davy J.
    Member

    I am sorry that this disrespect has happened to you. Many men (and women, too, I bet) see a weight problem as an indicator that something else more serious is going on in your life, such as depression, poor self-image, etc. For that reason we are leery about getting close to you, same as you might steer clear of a man who needs to comb his hair (and for this you’d have taken a pass on Einstein).

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    Name : Davy J., Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Evanston, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : university teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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