Mixed signals from straights

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  • #3749

    Alicia31400
    Participant

    Why do some straight people flirt with, fondle and send mixed signals to people they know or suspect are gay and attracted to them? My ego says they are sexually confused, but my intellect says they are hateful and power-tripping. I would really like to hear from straight people.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Alicia31400, Gender : F, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, 
    #27160

    Laurin
    Participant

    Perhaps the straight people don’t know the gay person is attracted to them. How would they know? And some people are just naturally affectionate with others, male or female. It has nothing to do with being hateful or power tripping.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Laurin, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : London, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #45862

    Carter32392
    Participant

    I really don’t think it’s about hate. The gay person may feel they’re being toyed with, and that would make anyone feel hurt and a little angry. The straight person may or may not be confused, as you say, but another angle may be that they’re comfortable enough in their own sexual identity that they’re exploring another one on a shallow level. If the two were very close friends, it could even go deeper, but it would just be a momentary experiment, or an easy outlet for a bout of horniness. The gay person could end up with hurt feelings.

    I’ve been approached by gay men a lot. I often wonder what they find so attractive about me that women seem to be missing. I don’t think about it one way or the other, but some people may find it a safe self-esteem boost. They can flirt with someone and not be saddled with a rapist or psycho stalker.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Carter32392, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Wiccan, Age : old, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, 
    #39860

    James D.
    Member

    It could be some of both, and it is most likely unconscious on both counts. Unless you have evidence of one or the other, it does no good to speculate. And by the way, gay people do the same thing, just as much as straight people do, and for the same reasons. Haven’t you ever used your feminine wiles to boost your own ego, or to try to convince yourself you’re straight, or just to get something you want? I have (with masculine wiles, that is).

    User Detail :  

    Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #18081

    Amanda31526
    Participant

    I am straight and have no intention of pursuing a homosexual realtionships, but saying so, if a women ever flirted with me, I dont think i would turn away the attention. Dont get me wrong, it would never advance to anything beyond a flirtaious smile or a glance. Those things never hurt anyone. It’s all about attention and feeling a small amount of happiness that someone thinks highly of you, or likes you. I was talking to my boyfriend last night about this. He has mintion that several time guys have hit on him, he was only being nice in not acting surpirsed by it. He did point out that most of the time, this happens at resturants, where free food or drink usually follow. It’s the same things that girls do to guys or vise versa. You flirt back to be nice and it might even get you something

    User Detail :  

    Name : Amanda31526, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 18, City : Columbus, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #33652

    Jim
    Member

    speaking as a mostly straight male, i have flirted with gay male friends when a certain amount of trust has been established between us; usually when they started it. i may not have felt turned on, but i certainly felt flattered. everybody wants to feel like they might be desirable to others. it’s an ego trip. so if someone you don’t have a trust relationship with flirts with you, it could be that they are trying to mess with your mind, or that they are on an ego or power trip, or are sexually confused–it really depends on the individual. i knew a supposedly ‘straight’ christian woman who sexually harrassed her female co-workers and was fired because of it; in that instance, some of it was about confusion, but most of it was about power pure and simple. it was a way for her to dominate them. i think she also had sociopathic tendencies. to the best of my intentions, i wouldn’t flirt with a gay friend or acquaintance if i honestly thought it might make them uncomfortable.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #19329

    Marie22246
    Participant

    I’ve flirted with women in a playful manner. I was, and still am, sexually confused. I wouldn’t take it badly if I were you. Be flattered, if anything. Obviously you were found to be attractive by these women and that’s why they flirted with you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Marie22246, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 33, City : Rockville, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : retail mgmt., Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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