Men, ethnicity and personals ads

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  • #10463

    Crystal
    Member

    I have noticed a very curious thing about the personals ads appearing in my local weekly papers. While the ‘women seeking men’ category has ads from women of all ethnic backgrounds – white, Asian, Latina and African Americans being represented in about equal numbers – I’d say about 85 to 90 percent of the ‘men seeking women’ ads are placed by white men. There is a smattering of African-American men seeking women, but hardly any Asian or Latino men. This is particularly discouraging for women like me, who find Asian and Latino men attractive. Why, then, is it mostly white men who place the ads? Is there some cultural barrier against non-white men posting personals ads? By the way, I live in the San Francisco Bay area – where, if anything, whites are in the minority – so it has nothing to do with the general population here being mostly white.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Office Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #17285

    ACC24033
    Participant

    When I was still single, I placed a few ads when I was in my late twenties and got some pretty discouraging responses. Some women said some things I suppose they thought would endear themselves or were attempts at humor. One made a crack about Latin lovers, another about spicy this and that. Two New Age women just begged to ‘taught how to live Indian’ and one brought up her alleged past lives. Another actually said ‘you heap big Injun’ in her reply. This kind of paralleled what had happened in my past, where I had one white woman who was actually disappointed I didn’t hit her and confused when I refused to. Something about the ads makes many people say things they would never (I hope) say in person. It’s very disheartening to realize someone wants you to play out a stereotyped fantasy image. I know some Latin and Indian buddies of mine who took advantage of blond white women thinking these things to get lucky. But I never could stomach it. Personal ads tend to attract an older crowd than you find in clubs where people are on the prowl, people who usually want something long term. And I can’t imagine some white woman wanting a ‘Latin lover’ or ‘Indian buck’ would stay in that relationship for long, or that any native or Latin man would once he’d gotten sex. I know not all white women are that way. But enough of you are to make many of us wary, outside of the ones of us out to get laid who don’t care how. I’d say you’d be better off finding decent Latin men at work or church than through ads, which is generally true for everyone.

    User Detail :  

    Name : ACC24033, Gender : M, Race : Mexican and American Indian, Age : 35, City : w lafayette, State : IN Country : United States, 
    #17667

    Tim
    Member

    Maybe it’s because the majority of white males aren’t players. Latinos and Hispanics are very smooth with women. They don’t need personals. I need the personals! Speaking of that, I’m a swm searching for … just kidding.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tim, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 23, City : Holland, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #41429

    Lindsay22714
    Participant

    I don’t know about your newspaper, but mine has many Hispanics asking for women. True, this is across the country from where you are living, but these guys are looking for someone just as you are.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lindsay22714, Gender : F, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, 
    #29519

    David
    Member

    I can’t speak for the Hispanic end of this question, but as an Asian-American man, I have used personal ads before, both in newspapers and on the internet. I have stopped doing so. The reason is that I rarely get responses, and when I do, it is from women who are settling for an Asian man; at least, that reality becomes clear after one or two dates. My experience might be restricted to my area here in the Midwest, where Asians are generally not looked upon favorably. But I believe that other Asian men have had similar experiences and, therefore, no longer bother with personal ads.

    User Detail :  

    Name : David, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian-American, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Law Clerk, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #36240

    John
    Member

    Crystal, I don’t read personal ads a lot, but when I do, I hardly see women of any race (including Asians) seek Asians. I’m glad you find Asian men attractive, but because of social conditioning, the most-desired men by women of any race are white males. I find this trait quite consistent among personal ads. I almost don’t see any non-Asian women seek Asian men, and for Asian women, they seek white men most of the time. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for Asian men. As an Asian man, the chance that I will get a response from any women through an ad is very low, so why post ads? If you want to date Asian men, your best bet is to get to know some Asians, men or women, to increase your network of Asian friends and get to know their culture. Then you might meet someone attractive. One more thing, to dispel a myth: a lot of Asian men are open to dating non-Asian women.

    User Detail :  

    Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Information tech, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #47346

    Dave
    Member

    Crystal, I agree with John from Toronto. I live in Chicago, and there certainly are many personal ads in my area by Asian men. Tons. There is no barrier culturally for Asian men to use personal ads. The problem is geography. You, Crystal, live in San Francisco, where the Asian population is large and it’s easy for an Asian man to find love without ads. In my area (Chicago) Asians are a minority of minorities, one of the smallest in the region. I have a better chance of being struck by lightning than getting a date with a white female, or any attractive female selective about her dates. Thus, many Asian men here post ads.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dave, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Law Clerk, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #17242

    latonya jenkins
    Participant

    I’m 25 yr old, stud, and so cute.. I had my son.. He is hard of hearing and 7 month old.. He will be 8 month old on oct 19. I m looking 4 femme

    User Detail :  

    Name : latonya jenkins, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Disability : Deaf, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, City : portsmouth, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : packing, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
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