Lousy treatment of parents

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  • #3045

    I have noticed that children and teens do not respect their parents. Everytime I go anywhere, I always see them degrading them or making them look or feel stupid. I was raised to respect my parents to the fullest extent – or else. Is this situation the parents’ fault, or is it just what society is coming to?

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    Name : Luz Marquez, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Paralyzed, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : New Lenox, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : server, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #15539

    teen
    Participant

    teens feel disrespected by their parents most of the time, because they don’t understand them and at that age they want more freedom than they deserve. sometimes parents either don’t try to understand and just say ‘my way goes’ and sometimes the parents give the kids too much control.

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    Name : teen, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 14, City : Notelling, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #38802

    Anna
    Member

    You think it’s all teens’ fault? Let me share a little story with you. I am 17. I make all A’s and B’s and love my parents to death. My mom is my best friend in the whole world and nothing will change that. But my dad calls his kids worthless and stupid and constantly yells at me and says I can’t do anything right. When we’re in public, we have our ‘happy faces’ on until dad can’t hold his temper anymore and starts nagging at me. Don’t blame the teen. You may have no idea what the child’s and parents’ situation is. I’m not saying it’s always the parents’ fault. But it takes two to tango. And it goes with the old saying: To get respect, give respect.

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    Name : Anna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #40643

    SoulSista
    Member

    It starts at home. As parents, we (because I am the mother of a 2-year-old) set the tone for a few things. One of those things being respect. My mother and I may not be the best of friends like we once were, but I still respect her. My mother was not afraid to get on me if she thought I was getting out of line. And regardless of what society says or thinks, family comes first, and since mother/father is the family, then it would be in our best interest to remember that. After all, the Bible says ‘honor thy mother and father and thy days on earth will be lengthened…’ Too many times, from what I’ve seen, the family unit allows ‘outsiders’ to govern them and tell them that’s it’s OK to let your child do what they want and say what they want without any sense of recourse for their actions.

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    Name : SoulSista, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Windy City, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : supervisor at CSC, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #18141

    J21187
    Participant

    I know far too many teens who treat their parents as slaves, and the parents bow to their wishes. Children today do not seem to be effectivley disciplined and do not respond to the discipline they receive. My parents always ensured that I was respectful, even if I was not overly fond of the individual entitled to my respect. The situation seems to be largely caused by society’s lack of discipline (meaning order in this sense). We cannot keep in line because we are not even given a line to keep in. If parents don’t take matters into their own hands, there is no longer any support for them. Parenting is not easy, especially when multiple children are involved. Society no longer supports the family when the heads are in need of a much-deserved break.

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    Name : J21187, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 14, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #14883

    Marilyn
    Member

    They do this like disrespecting younger children because they think that, like smoking and cussing, it makes them look ‘smart.’ Hopefully, they will mature out of it. My children turned back into people about the time they graduated from college. Almost everyone older or younger has something to teach each of us. I loved being around my husbands’ grandmother who was over 90 and remembered the turn of the 20th century AND man walking on the moon. She could remember in detail the day my husband was born. Life teaches each of us in different ways and we each have to learn something different. Respect and listen to the old folks – we may be crazy but we have already done it. Nana

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    Name : Marilyn, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 58, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #15173

    Lee-V
    Participant

    Some parents let their children get away with too much. Some parents don’t believe in discipline but that is pretty much the only way for a parent to get the upper hand. I’m not saying spank them. I’m mostly saying ground them or something. But yes children are getting to where they treat their parents terribly.

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    Name : Lee-V, Gender : M, Age : 21, City : Moorhead, State : MS Country : United States, 
    #15335

    Wyn
    Member

    Because most parents have no respect for their children. They have weak relationships with their kids, whom they have treated more like pets than people. They refuse to acknowledge their teen is basically an adult or they fail to empathize with their teen. Teens need to feel like their parents understand them and are listening, even if their parents disagree. Respect is earned. Also, kids at that age are starting to see their parent’s faults much more clearly than they have ever seen them before. They are thinking like adults, not children, and they can see the flaws they couldn’t at a younger age.

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    Name : Wyn, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Augusta, State : GA Country : United States, 
    #16148

    Vail27402
    Participant

    As I was getting out of my car the other day, I saw a car across the street with the door wide open. A woman and two teens were walking toward it. The woman’s daughter (I assume), in response to the door being left open into the street said, ‘What an idiot!’ I thought, what an obnoxious brat, but — who raised her? My daughter is not rude to me. It has nothing to do with ‘or else.’ It has to do with the fact that I’ve stressed good manners and respect to her and, even more important, given them to her. She is not disrespectful to me because I am not to her. Forget social norms; kids will live up to your expectations.

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    Name : Vail27402, Gender : M, Race : mutt, Religion : Catholic, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #18160

    Eric
    Member

    As a 17-year-old guy, I would certainly fall into your age bracket, but my relationship with my parents is certainly not defined by a lack of respect – quite the contrary. I respect my parents greatly (and treat them as such). My relationship is much more traditional than that of many of my peers. I am the kid, and while I may be treated as an equal most of the time, it is clear when I am supposed to defer to my parents’ authority. However, I get the sense that this is not the norm. Most of my friends get treated with a lot more privilege, and show no respect for there parents. Instead of disciplining their kids, these parents try to ‘win them over’ by being cool. That is where things start to get wildly out of hand. So in that way it is the parents’ fault. However, an argument could easily be made that society is conspiring against parents as well: Just today as I went out to lunch, I was told (semi-jokingly) that my father was trying to ‘keep me down’ because he would not allow me to purchase a better car since he feels that a Tercel with 78hp is a good fit for a teenage driver. – I was shocked! To me, that so totally embodied the stereotype of the snotty teenage ‘I hate you Dad/Mom, you’re ruining my life’. However, my friends failed to see that my car (in combination with my good driving I’d like to think) has kept me from either being in an accident or getting a speeding ticket. In that regard I would say a large factor in a teen’s willingness to respect his parents comes from an appreciation both of what the parent has ‘given’/’instilled in’/taught them, and the parent’s knowledge/experience. Unfortunately teenage society (culture?) is not into recognizing either of those things. In short, I’d argue that as a general rule it is a mix of society-based influences and poor parenting practices that causes disrespectful teens (but there are certainly exceptions). -Oh, one last thing I forgot. Don’t underestimate the role of hormones. A sudden chemical change in the brain can make those snappish impulses very difficult to control.

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    Name : Eric, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 17, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #18173

    Julie-L27026
    Participant

    Respect does start at home and is taught by the parents. Respect is taught by providing information about what it is and how it is used. Respect is taught by example; parents show respect for themselves, their children, their families, and people they encounter outside of the home.

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    Name : Julie-L27026, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 45, City : Seffner, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Accountant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18363

    Stephanie
    Member

    Respect starts at birth. When I first met my husband and went over to his house to meet his parents, I was shocked by the way he and his brother and sister talked to their parents. It really bothered me, but after being with him for 8 years now, I know why he and his siblings treat their parents like crap. The parents ask for it, seriously. My husband no longer treats his parents this way because I showed him how you are supposed to treat your family. I hate going over for holidays because I don’t want my children acting out this way. Respect starts from birth, as I said. My niece argues and fights with her parents because they let her and she’s only 4! I can’t imagine how she’s gonna treat my sister and her husband when she’s 16. My 4 year old says Yes Ma’am and Sir, Please and Thank you. Society gets what it sows. You reap what you sow and more people should put a little more thought into how they raise their kids.

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    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : na, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : SAHM, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #22839

    Ben
    Member

    I, too, have noticed this disturbing trend…now that I’m getting closer to the age when I’ll be having my own children, it bothers me even more. I think there are several reasons why this has occurred in our culture: 1.) Parents don’t want to be parents…they want to be friends. They want to avoid conflict. Therefore, they don’t discipline their children. 2.) They don’t teach their children about authority, or the need to respect it. Let’s face it, these children are the offspring of baby-boomers. That generation decided to reject all current Western philosophies and practices to achieve some ‘enlightened’ state that their parents were for some reason unaware of. The parents rejected their parents’ authority, and never taught their kids to respect it, either. Therefore kids no longer hold parents as sacred.

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    Name : Ben, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Newberry, State : SC Country : United States, Occupation : Software Developer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #23637

    Nabriya
    Participant

    I understand what you are saying because I have been seeing this a lot. Sometimes it’s the parent fault for letting their child get away with too much. For example my friend’s parents allow her to do anything and she talks to them as if they are one of her friends on the street. I would never call my mother anything but ‘Moomy’ or ‘Ma.’ My friend is allowed to call her mother by her first name. I think it boils down to what the parents allow the child to do.

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    Name : Nabriya, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 17, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #24865

    J21194
    Participant

    I know far too many teens who treat their parents as slaves, and the parents bow to their wishes. Children today do not seem to be effectively disciplined and do not respond to the discipline they receive. My parents always ensured that I was respectful, even if I was not overly fond of the individual entitled to my respect. The situation seems to be largely caused by society’s lack of discipline and order. We cannot keep in line because we are not even given a line to keep in. If parents don’t take matters into their own hands, there is no longer any support for them. Parenting is not easy, especially when multiple children are involved. Society no longer supports the family when the heads are in need of a much deserved break.

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    Name : J21194, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 14, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, 
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