Lies men tell me

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 45 total)
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  • #33337

    Michael-White27424
    Participant

    My impression is that you would find the answer in a number of facts about yourself, each a different one for the person you meet and like, but nothing happens. You stated that you are unconditional. Well, make sure that you stand for something, and don’t be unconditional, and then the right person will identify with those facts about yourself. You need to establish who you are for someone else before they will commit to you. Good luck, I married my wife, who was not only never married but a virgin at the age 48 (same as you are right now).

    User Detail :  

    Name : Michael-White27424, Age : 55, City : Bedford, State : TX Country : United States, 
    #46347

    T-OReilly
    Participant

    I get exactly the same thing from the men in my life, and I’m still single too. But why do you think it’s a lie? You probably *are* warm and funny and loving and caring, etc. I know *I* am. So why don’t the men we know want that? Because we’re hanging out with the wrong men. Pretty simple, right? I’m in therapy to figure out why I keep hooking up with the wrong men, maybe you should consider it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : T-OReilly, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 45, City : South Bend, State : IN Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #27339

    Justin23184
    Participant

    There are a number of possibilities. When I tell a woman these things but do not pursue a relationship with her, there is always a reason. Usually, the reason is something that would hurt her, so I don’t tell her. In order of frequency, the reasons are: 1. Unattracted to her. Physically. 2. I have learned something about her that makes her un-datable (example: she’s in a rush to get married which is a sign of a lack of self-worth to be alone) 3. She clings onto our friendship so much I couldn’t imagine how much she’d cling to relationship. (Needy) Those are just my experiences. My advice to women who are having this problem? Be more flirty with men you meet. Women can get away with being a ‘flirt’ and not be labeled a slut. Take advantage of harmless flirting. The key is when men first meet you, you should have them thinking ‘This is a woman I’d like to date.’ Don’t be afraid to be sexy, confidant and sly.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Justin23184, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian Scientist, Age : 22, City : Lynchburg, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Editor, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #39189

    Ken
    Participant

    Maybe they aren’t Bahai faith…;-)

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ken, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 50, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Architect, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #46688

    Ann31327
    Participant

    Some of it may be a cross-gender version of the reason so many MEN with these characteristics are still single. A lot of people are REALLY SHALLOW, and they may enjoy being friends with the ‘nice’ guy/gal, but they only want to date the ‘bad’ guy/gal. That said, you also need to examine the kinds of men you hook up with, and how you behave when you’re in a relationship. Do you only go for the ‘bad boys’ because you think you can change them? Do you ever take the initiative in a relationship, or do you always force the guy you’re dating to make all the decisions? If the answer to either of these questions is ‘yes,’ then you need to do some soul searching and change the way you interact with people. IF the answer is ‘no’ then you need to find a new place to meet men.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ann31327, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18612

    jummy30913
    Participant

    is it possible that you’re phisically unappealling? that’s my best explaination. if this is the case, the problem can be exascerbated by two things, commonly: A) you are far too gratefull on the occasions that a man does express interest, and B) you have unrealistic dating expectations and go for brad pitt types to the exclusion of gents who are similarly ‘warm, funny, loving, caring, understanding…’ but also phisically unappealing.

    User Detail :  

    Name : jummy30913, City : chicago, State : IL Country : United States, 
    #43482

    Chris22263
    Participant

    This is a difficult question to answer because it requires personal knowledge that only you, or perhaps your friends, have of you and your life situation. But I don’t know what to tell you. If you’re frustrated, then what can I do to help? As the old saying goes, ‘God helps those who help themselves,’ that is to say that you need to solve your own problems, whatever they may be. Perhaps there is no problem, and you’re just unlucky, or in a slump. I don’t know.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chris22263, Gender : M, City : Breckenridge, State : CO Country : United States, 
    #32306

    Exton
    Participant

    Just because a man is attracted to a woman, does not mean he will approach her as such – a woman must also seem approachable or sociable. Are you? And We live in an equal opportunity world now; it’s as much your job as it is a man’s to innitiate a relationship. If you know those descriptions of you are accurate, then feel free to be the one to innitiate a relationship with a man that has your eye.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Exton, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : nontheist, Age : 18, City : Medway, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #26698

    Pauly B.
    Participant

    Have you discussed this with any of your close friends, I mean really discussed it…openly? They seem to be the best source of information in self-discovery.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Pauly B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Irish, Religion : Deist, Age : 37, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : CAD Tech, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #47747

    Ann
    Participant

    The men you are around view you as a ‘friend’ not as a ‘girlfriend.’ It’s not that they’re lying, it’s that the particular men you’re around are looking for high-maintenance arm-candy, and view you in a ‘motherly’ or ‘sisterly’ light because of that. A lot of nice guys have the exact same problem on the distaff side. Here’s the question you need to ask yourself: ‘Am I only attracted to ‘bad boys’ who will use me and move on, and if so, why?’ If you have male friends whom you view simply as ‘friends’ or ‘male girlfriends’ or ‘buddies’ because you tell yourself they’re not your type, try reassessing them in light of being involved with a ‘nice man’ rather than a ‘bad boy.’

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ann, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 39, City : Kansas City, State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Executive Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #35290

    Jim19559
    Participant

    Nancy, if you ever get an answer to this question, please let me in on it. I’ve got the same dilemma.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jim19559, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 28, City : Raeford, State : NC Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #22816

    George *******
    Participant

    Lies? I certainly hope not. Maybe it is the guys you hang around, or maybe you are one of those people who, like me, just aren’t what society deems as the dating type; that the majority of people (the plebians, the mediocre) do not imagine you as the type to go out with because of their misunderstanding of the concept of love. There is someone out there who cares and longs for you, and maybe he is shy. As I mentioned earlier I am not what society imagines as the dating type, and I must continue to say that I too am shy. Have compassion for that shy man then, for he too has undergone what you have. Do not worry. As a guy that is so young it is a little different for me, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

    User Detail :  

    Name : George *******, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #46899

    Cassie Brooks
    Participant

    Hi you dont no me but men tell me the same thing and I found out that they lie to get what they want and its not you its the men.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Cassie Brooks, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 20, City : indianola, State : MS Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #28470

    Nadège
    Participant

    Are you looking for a relationship? One problem may be that you’re looking too hard and may be coming off as desperate. When you go out, be sure to let that funny, loving you shine through.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Nadège, Gender : F, Age : 16, City : Peoria, State : AZ Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 
    #20468

    I hear the same thing from my female friends. With the addition of good looking, attractive, etc. Sometimes it’s just hard to find someone. This is worsened by the fact that I have no ‘game’. I spent the whole time between 14 and 21 with the same girl, so I never learned how to ask someone out or approach them or anything. I don’t know how to fix it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : DanielPfalmer, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Fairbanks, State : AK Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 45 total)
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