Lies men tell me

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  • #14633

    Ralph
    Member

    There’s absolutely no way anyone can answer that question without actually knowing you. But, if I had to guess, I would say it’s because you aren’t presenting enough of a challenge. Women always say that the most important thing in a man is confidence. I believe it goes both ways. It’s a very strange thing, but at the start or a relationship, it seems that both people are looking for people that don’t NEED them, just want them. If you appear too needy, it’s a problem. Like I said, this is obviously a complete guess. And, if I am at all close to the truth, I hope my comments don’t seem harsh, they are not intended that way.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ralph, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Bergen County, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18374

    John29190
    Participant

    I think you can answer for the ones that are already in a relationship. For the single ones. I haven’t tried a romantic relationship with any of my friends since the 1st time I tried that and just found myself short one very good friend. I find myself never askin girls out because I don’t wanna risk my friends and I keep finding myself friends with girls I would consider interesting. No win for me 🙁

    User Detail :  

    Name : John29190, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Huntington, State : WV Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #18689

    Mike T.
    Participant

    It’s possible that men really DO see you as warm, funny, loving, caring, understanding and unconditional. Unfortunately, all those things are traits a man considers AFTER he’s satisfied the ‘prime directive’ in looking for a mate. In short: tits and ass. Sorry to be so blunt, but that’s pretty much the first thing a guy sees. A pretty face is also important, but definitely a secondary consideration for most men. In a perfect world, personality traits would be the primary draw in a romantic relationship. Sadly, this isn’t a perfect world. (This isn’t to say you’re not attractive, of course. For all I know you’re the most beautiful woman since Helen of Troy. So please don’t take offense.)

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mike T., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40s, City : Grand Rapids, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Editor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #26316

    OK… A few things: 1) You could be shy. How will men know you exist if you do not put it out there. Men will never get to know that you are all those great things if you do not open the door to having a relationship. 2) It may be that you are too understanding and unconditional and loving. What?? you say! No person, man or woman, want a doormat, a clinger or accepting any ol thing they toss your way. Set high standards ahead of time (before you meet the guy)and stick to them. Think: Don’t always be available… if he bails on a date, make him suffer. You have to see your value. 3)Sadly, and I am not trying to be mean and I am not saying it is right, but if men are saying this to you all the time and they are men you have had a relationship with them, then it is a dump line. It could just be an encouraging male friend (judge the man) or it could be that he does not want to say hey… cute – but chubby or not so easy on the eyes. Those are hard things to say (and cruel) sometimes people get nervous when you ask them why no man wants you. My guess is that you are shy and maybe a little bit of a doormat. So get out there, be confident and proud, take no guff and find somone worthy of your unconditional love. We should all be so lucky!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Me of Little Faith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Olympic Peninsula, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Done working!, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #18115

    Tom24096
    Participant

    Not true. Men say those things because sounds nicer then you are fat ugly and should wax your upper lip.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tom24096, Gender : M, City : Marlton, State : NJ Country : United States, 
    #18441

    dennis25847
    Participant

    You must be fat or ugly then.

    User Detail :  

    Name : dennis25847, City : tampa, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #19502

    Josh29131
    Participant

    If your not putting out, then do. If you are putting out, then I dont know…

    User Detail :  

    Name : Josh29131, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 27, City : Kansas City, State : MO Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #20055

    Matt
    Member

    For a man to want a romantic relationship, it often takes something more, usually called chemistry. It’s possible for me to meet a woman who has everything you describe, but I just don’t feel that special spark for her. Also, there are some other things that can be deal breakers. For example, I’ve found that dating someone with religious beliefs that are too different from mine inevitably leads to problems. Since I’m a single and devout Christian, I think it’s important to me to find a woman who is also Christian. It may be that many men have crossed you off their lists because you are Bahai. Or there may be some other deal-breaker – I can’t guess what it might be, not knowing you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25953

    E
    Participant

    Nancy, Fact is, I don’t know you. Your best bet is to ask the guys that keep telling you this. Secondly, if they feel that way, what is stopping you from asking them out? Good Luck

    User Detail :  

    Name : E, City : Portland, State : ME Country : United States, 
    #36316

    Are you certain you didn’t lie about being straight?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Harry Highstreet, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Aliens, Disability : Mental, Race : First Place, Religion : Messlopian, Age : 68, City : St. Clair, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Author, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #18353

    Charity32233
    Participant

    It’s a hard market here for relationships, I think. The men are very picky and very unwilling to commit, in my experience. They would rather just play in the sun and live the bachelor life forever. If they will commit, it’s going to be to the absolute PERFECT woman, and I’m not that. Don’t know if you are, but I hear the exact same thing you do. So at least you are not alone.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Charity32233, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 35, City : Tempe, State : AZ Country : United States, 
    #28401

    Jason31246
    Participant

    Probably the same reason why women say the same thing to men. I’ve heard the same thing from countless female friends. Even my ex’s say that. (of course we’d probably still be together if we didnt live on opposite ends of the country now) What I really cant understand is when a girl would tell someone I knew that she thought I was sweet and attractive and all that, then go date some guy who was mean, cheated and wasnt all that attractive. Not to be cruel, but sometimes guys say that because they like you as a person, they just dont find you attractive, and dont want to hurt your feelings because they honestly DO think you are kind, caring, funny, etc.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jason31246, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 25, City : Panama, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #20045

    Chandan
    Participant

    The truth is the fact that men look for more than just these things in a woman. There are countless women out there with the same qualities as you have, but only one of those many can have one man. The things that set that woman apart from any other are things like her interests, her lifestyle and her general attitude towards men. So in fact the things that men tell you are probably true, but the other aspects of who you are probably don’t match up. You’ll find a man who likes/loves every part of you, and that’s the man you want.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chandan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : East Indian, Religion : Sikh, Age : 20, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #30171

    Rina
    Member

    Sweetie, I feel your pain. I also am constantly told what a great person I am, and not just by close friends and family, either. Yet I constantly get the, ‘Wow, you’re such a great friend!’ or ‘No way, she’s like my sister!’ lines thrown my way. I’m told there are men like this, and that’s where the expressions ‘Nice guys finish last’ or ‘Nice guys never get the girl’ come from. Perhaps we just need to meet guys who are in the same boat…?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Royal Palm Beach, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #42126

    Jim30715
    Participant

    To be honest those are things we say when some one is nice but we are not attracted to them, in a physical sense.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jim30715, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 32, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 45 total)
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