I’ve arrived, but…

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  • #10363

    K.R.
    Member

    I have a problem that I find extremely difficult to discuss with anyone: I haven’t been able to experience an orgasm. As a female, I know it is naturally more difficult for me to reach climax than it is for a man, especially since I’m relatively inexperienced. But I feel troubled because not only have I been unable to have an orgasm during sex, but I can’t satisfy myself, either. Even with the aid of my partner’s mouth, I can’t get there. It is frustrating for both of us. Nothing traumatic has ever happened to me in my life that would cause me to have sexual hangups, I don’t think. So what is wrong with me, and what can I do about this problem?

    User Detail :  

    Name : K.R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Christian, Age : 22, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #47205

    Chris
    Member

    This may seem like a simple answer, but it really works. You just have to not think about it. Just go with the flow and enjoy what is happening now, not what could or should happen in a little bit. My current wife had the same sort of problem, only she orgasmed very rarely. When she started getting into her feelings and emotions, she found herself having orgasms without even thinking about it. Now it is very rare that she doesn’t have an orgasm. I honestly think orgasms are something you have to learn to have.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chris, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Arabic, Religion : Catholic, Age : 33, City : Warren, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Programmer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25667

    Dana C.
    Member

    This is coming from a woman who has been in your shoes and felt all of the frustration and pain you are feeling. I found that the problem actually comes from concentrating too much on the orgasm itself. My physician sat me down and asked me if I was mentally trying to have an orgasm. Of course I responded “Yes.” That is the problem. When having any form of sexual relations, you need to concentrate on the act at hand. Have fun and don’t think about whether you are going to have an orgasm. You have to be able to let go completely. It will come. The most important thing is to just relax and enjoy your partner. When I was able to do that, all the rest fell into place. It will for you, too. Just have fun trying; you will soon reap the benefits.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dana C., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Legal, Education level : Technical School, 
    #44994

    T27569
    Participant

    The response you have gotten so far are great. There is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with the way men have been taught or not taught to make love. A woman can have an orgasm in the smae time frame as a man if you know what to do. There is a part of the female anatomy, not the G-spot, which even a shorter penis of 4-6 inches can reach if you are positioned properly that will help you have orgasms when stimulated without the man really doing anything differently. With this, normal health, normal emotional well being and confidence, and regular practice of your kegel exercises, you will be outpacking your sexual partner in no time. I used to have the same problem, and when I heard about this, as I am a practical woman, I went out and bought a book by Rachel Swift that tells you how to have these mind blowers. you can get it from amazon.com. Even better is Barabar Keesling’s Super Sexual Orgasm- she gives you tips on how to train yourself to get them with yout partner, and how to get your partner to do it for you in more clinical terms that Rachel Swift. I can guarantee you these books will help with a minimum of embarrassment on your part. You deserve to have all the pleasure life offers and it’s not as out of grasp as you might think!

    User Detail :  

    Name : T27569, Sexual Orientation : Straight, City : Forestville, State : MD Country : United States, 
    #20231

    Lena22849
    Participant

    Your problem may have a medical cause at the root. Try to find an OB-GYN or nurse practitioner you trust (finding a woman would help), then ask her what you asked here. (Planned Parenthood clinics tend to have very understanding medical professionals and lower costs than private clinics). If you have an examination and there’s no physical problem, I would also venture to say it’s a “relaxation” issue. Also, have you taken the time for self-exploration (like in a bathtub)? Getting to know your own body is the key to satisfying sexual relations with another person.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lena22849, Gender : F, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, 
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