Help: my child thinks blacks “are the enemy”

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    I have a four year old son. I’ve always tried to teach him that people are people, regardless of skin color. His father isn’t the most tolerant person, but he’s never taught my son anything to the contrary of what I say. From day one I’ve monitored every movie, TV show, book and person he’s come into contact with. So it came as a surprise when one day in the supermarket he looked at me, pointed at a black man and told me not to go over there because “they were the enemy.” I told him never to say that about anyone, that those words hurt people and it’s not nice. So now he doesn’t do it when he’s around me. However he still does it when he’s out with his grandmother. She’s afraid to take him out with her because of this behavior. What should I do?

    User Detail :  

    Name : AmandaD, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 21, City : Louisville, State : KY Country : United States, Occupation : Mother, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

    Ann L. Lowenstein

    Well, obviously someone with whom he has regular contact is teaching him these things. A four-year-old doesn’t just spontaneously decide blacks are the “enemy” on his own. I’d be real suspicious of his father first and foremost. What Daddy says when you’re around to hear, and what he tells the kid when they are alone together are quite probably two VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. If it’s not Dad, then I’d look at other immediate relatives, and/or neighbors and neighbor’s kids. Oh, and making a huge big deal of it will only encourage him to do it more, seeing as how he’s FOUR YEARS OLD and all… BadKarma!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 


    First thing you might want to do is ask him who told him that, because someone did. Let’s hope it’s not his father, since then you’ll have a difficult time limiting his exposure to such poison. I’m not sure what to do after this first step…maybe someone else will chime in here.

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    Name : CWayneC., City : Parsippany, State : NJ Country : United States, 

    If he’s 4 years old he is still learning, so by keeping him under your wing and teaching him proper ethics and good morals, he will be okay. Don’t coddle him or spoil him or he will turn into a mama’s boy, praise him and love him and always be there for him that’s what he needs, not what he wants. Grandparents are old school, with old thinking, but went through things that we didn’t. So it’s good to get feedback from them or be there so you can see if they are teaching the same as when they taught you. The same ethics and morals that got you where you are should be the same for him. Don’t forget we all bleed the same color!

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    Name : BruceStephens, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 49, City : Newark, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : Student/Surveyor, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower class, 
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