Do women like aggression in men?

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  • #2230

    Martin L.
    Member

    It seems to me that some women want their boyfriends to be aggressive, or at least to have the potential for aggression. What do others think?

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    Name : Martin L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Berlin, State : NA Country : Germany, Occupation : student, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18967

    Julie
    Member

    ‘Aggression’ seems like such a bad word. Let’s use the word ‘assertive’ or ‘confident’…

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    Name : Julie, Gender : F, Race : Black, Age : 33, City : Woodbridge, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Gov't Contracting, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #47198

    C.J.
    Member

    Aggressive men are volatile, and are therefore unattractive because they make one uncomfortable. The only time I could imagine that a woman would want an aggressive man is if she’s looking for a ‘bad boy’. A woman never wants aggression directed at herself. What is attractive, however, is a strong man. A man willing to fight battles (not necessarily physical battles) – who will stand up for what he believes in, or will stand up to protect a woman. This strength also needs to be accompanied by wisdom, however. That means that a man needs to know when to fight – and when to walk away – whether it be a mental or physical fight.

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    Name : C.J., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18820

    Robert29544
    Participant

    Yes, many women are very attracted to aggressive men. Often, at parties or social settings, the most popular men among women are the loudest and most obnoxious, particulary if the men are obnoxious or act cockstrong around other men. I think women are hard-wired to be attracted to such men, because it shows them that their offspring will be the strongest.

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    Name : Robert29544, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 
    #15320

    lesley-w
    Participant

    perhaps women want their mates to be or seem to be aggressive due to instinct. if the male role has been to provide, support , and protect the family unit then his power must then be equal to the size and or importance of that (potential) family unit. curious that this was directed as a gender based question rather than a race or cultural based question. must be the same for all people due to survival instinct.

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    Name : lesley-w, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 21, City : mesa, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : nurse assistant, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #32235

    Ida21366
    Participant

    Yes and no. I like my guy to be able to ‘protect’ me, so although I wouldn’t say I like my boyfriend to be agressive, I do like it that he can ‘hold his own.’ On the other hand, I’m certainly not attracted to the guy who wants to fight everyone all the time. I am definitely into confidence and strength but not a guy who is obnoxious or destructive. Sorry ladies, but I’m always looking for my hero.

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    Name : Ida21366, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Buffalo, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #47679

    J-French21283
    Participant

    Although the other two who answered you are speaking more about ‘confidence’ and chivalry, I believe you sincerely want to know about real agression. If that’s the case, here’s the deal: women with low self-esteem tend to attract, and be attracted to, men with genuine agression problems. The two issues go hand-in-hand. If a man is agressive to everyone else and gentle to his girlfriend, she believes that this means she is extra-special to him, more special than to a guy who is kind to everyone. She is the only one valuable enough to him to not hurt. However, the man is not showing her his real self, eventually, because no one is perfect, she will do something to upset him and he will turn his agression on to her and become abusive. If you are trying to have a relationship with a woman who seems to act out this pattern with men, stop pursuing her. She is not mentally and emotionally fit to have a good relationship with anyone. If you are considering turning up the rage in your life to attract women, don’t. You’ll only attract losers. Be kind, take care of yourself first, and work to improve your own personality in positive ways. Ms. Sane should come around shortly.

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    Name : J-French21283, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #43490

    Laura G.
    Member

    I agree with the girl from Sydney who talks about chivalry. In my experience, girls may initially like a bit of a ‘bad boy’ attitude, but if the aggression is real and pervasive, it gets old very, very quickly. And if it doesn’t get old, then the girl probably has some issues that lead her to constantly pursue unhealthy, volatile relationships. On the other hand, when a girl is with a guy that she knows is sweet, affectionate and caring, I think it is attractive when he shows strength and assertiveness (I mean in bed) because she knows there’s no real threat or danger there. But acting overly ‘assertive’ when you’re just getting to know a girl isn’t cool because you don’t have that trust. And picking fights with other guys is silly. Only silly girls like men who try to act tough all the time.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Laura G., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : media specialist, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #34051

    Andrew Robinson
    Participant

    Im not too sure abput this but I think Women just like be behind a powerful man.

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    Name : Andrew Robinson, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Upper Darby, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #45572

    Ashley
    Member

    What they want isn’t exactly someone who’s going to give somebody else a bloody nose(I hope) but someone who’s more assertive, so girls don’t always have to make the first move and seem pushy by deciding every thing, plus guys like that don’t seem to want the susie homemaker type but a more assertive girl, which is more nice than having to act like a mouse.

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    Name : Ashley, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Pasco, State : WA Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #22569

    Judy27004
    Participant

    Have you ever heard the saying from a males perspective…I want her to be a lady in public and a tiger in the bedroom? Well, the same can be said from a females perspective. Many want a gentalman in public and ‘aggressive’ in the bedroom. This does not in any way mean abusive!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Judy27004, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 37, City : Mountain City, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Office Administration/Unemployed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #44082

    Meiran
    Member

    The way I put it once, is that the more you care about something the more passionate you are about it. A man who is willing to ‘stand up for his woman’ is seen as caring for her a great deal. He’s willing to beat somebody up over it, he’s very strong in his beleif and feeling. But the ‘potential’ is much more desirable. While my boyfriend might say he’d beat up anybody that hit on me, I know that I’d rather he didn’t. But I know that if I were hurt, he would use all of his energy to take care of it. I hope that made any sense at all.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Meiran, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Roanoke, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #28605

    S.S.
    Member

    That’s very true. It goes back to the woman’s original role as nurturer and the man’s role as provider and protector. Even strong, independent women like to feel like they could depend on their boyfriend/husband if they needed to. It doesn’t make women inferior to men in any way.

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    Name : S.S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Irving, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal, Education level : 2 Years of College, 
    #43793

    Michael20654
    Participant

    No, women don’t like aggression in men. Sometimes they get used to it when they are in a relationship with a man who has unresolved anger problems, but why would they like it? Would you like to have the crap beaten out of you by your partner?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Michael20654, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Charlotte, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Data analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #18614

    Shorty
    Member

    I much as I hate to admit this. I do enjoy it when my man is aggressive. It shows to me he is a man. Many of my girlfriends think I am crazy for liking men who are strong in their convictions and are not afraid to go after what they want. Aggression can go to far, but when a man shows no aggression, it seems like he has no confidence. I want a man, not a puppy.

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    Name : Shorty, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : accountant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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