Disabled, but not down

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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  • #8131

    Heather P.
    Member

    Why do some people with disabilities think that their life is over?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Heather P., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 23, City : Greenville, State : MS Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #41354

    J-French21280
    Participant

    I don’t mean to sound arrogant, because I am not disabled, but in a way, when you go from being perfectly healthy to facing a serious physical challenge, it can feel very much like the life you knew has come to an end, and facing the new and different life you will have can be daunting. Any kind of change in your life, whether in your relationships, body, work, or schedule implies the end of the old way of doing things and an adaptation to the new. I have heard it said that even a divorce must be properly mourned, as it is the death of a dream; a dream of a life lived a certain way. I imagine it could be the same with a person who becomes disabled; they may have to face and recover from losing opprotunites due to their injury. This can be a long process involving many attitude adjustments along the way; and some may never recover, emotionally, from their physical problems. If you know someone that this has happened to, try to be patient with them and encourage them when they show sparks of hope and optimism. Good luck.

    User Detail :  

    Name : J-French21280, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #36156

    Daryl B.
    Member

    I’ve been disabled from a psychological illness for the past 6 years. Up until 8 months ago I thought my life was over. Why? Because the nature of my illness (bipolar disorder/severe depression) will make you feel that way. It does not take that many negative things to happen in your life (coupled with manic depression) to make one give up hope. Through good doctoring and proper medication usage I have finally come out of that dark grave that depression buried me in. This is just my opinion based on my personal experience.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Daryl B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 46, City : San Ramon, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #16326

    R30355
    Participant

    It really all depends on the type and extent of the disability, and the person’s circumstances. The question is too broad and vague to give a real answer. You may not think they should feel that way, but then again, you aren’t the one living with the disability. I assume you aren’t disabled because of the question you asked. Losing your ability to take care of yourself, and/or to be a ‘productive’ member of society is hard on a person’s sense of worth and accomplishment. Consequently, that can breed depression and dispondency. This country does not have room or time for the elderly, the infirm, or the poor. And, too often, it’s members of these very populations that suffer the worst, in every way, when they become disabled. And, the run-around that social service agencies, who are supposed to help you, give you is enough to drive an already sick person over the mental edge. Whatever you do, keep yourself nicely insured, even if you have to moonlight as a (gulp) telemarketer.

    User Detail :  

    Name : R30355, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 30 +, City : Greenville, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #46554

    Kat T.
    Member

    There are many factors that may lead a disabled person to feel like their life is over when holstered with a disability. Being disabled, I can understand and have even experienced some of these emotions. I will further state that I fit into the category of My life is NOT over – it’s just changed a little. One of the understandable emotions would be one of anger. ‘Why me?’ Another is Depression. ‘I’m not like I used to be’ or ‘I’m not like everyone else’ or ‘I can’t do what everybody else is because….’. Other factors could be medications. And, obviously, so can self-pity. The causation for certain emotions are not any different for a person with disabilities than it is for an able-bodied person. Maybe look past the words and see what the real issue is. Maybe the issue isn’t the disability at all.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kat T., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 42, City : Hope Mills, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Retired Med Tech, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 
    #20282

    Vail24457
    Participant

    I’m not disabled, but, as a musician, I can imagine feeling my life was over if I were to go deaf or lose the use of my hands. Probably, it depends on the general outlook of the individual. If you’re a negative person…

    User Detail :  

    Name : Vail24457, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mutt, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #46578

    Peter30385
    Participant

    People with disabilities often feel like their life is over because it is. When a traumatic, disabling incident happens often one’s identity is destroyed with it. As someone who has undergone this transformation, I’ve had to start over again, find new interests and hobbies, a new career, even new friends as the event burned out those stood by me. (It was impossible for me to handle, let alone my friends). I can no longer do what I used to or think the way I thought. I am not that same person, I had to eventually realize that indeed life was over. One down, eight to go.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Peter30385, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 31, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #26953

    Leanne
    Member

    Well in away life is over. At least the life they knew. In a sense they have to re-invent their sense of themselves, as someone who has different needs. Maybe it’s similar to loosing a loved one, the life with them you knew is over and you have to create a new life. Our bodies are a loved one and when part of us ‘dies’ we have to mourn that loss, and try to re-create ourselves within this new reality. I feel like part of me died when i was sexually assaulted and beaten down by racism. I was debilitatingly depressed and it has taken me 2 years to ‘re-build’ if you will, my self. I suppose it sounds overly-dramatic, but part of me was taken away and i wasnt the person i was, that person died. Tho i still feel sad when i think of loosing who i was i worked hard and fought to create the person i am now and i love that person!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Leanne, Gender : F, Race : I'm a mutt!!, Religion : Christian, Age : 22, City : pleasant hill, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : artist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #44461

    Dave M.
    Member

    Because its VERY hard to find a job; you’re treated in a condescending manner by most social service agencies; virtually ‘not seen’ by the majority of the public; and its almost impossible to find a date or relationship.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dave M., Sexual Orientation : tg lesbian, Race : mixture, Religion : Pagan, Age : 49, City : mc cleary, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : philosopher, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower class, 
    #36170

    Luticha D.
    Member

    there are many reasons for this. the major one being that society views a disability as a flaw; something that is unwanted or a weakness. so, this impresses upon a disabled person that they are a lesser member of the community of humanity; have less to contribute (if anything at all) and are worthless. nor does it help to live in an environment where there are constant barriers that send a clear message of ‘you are unwanted and not even worth considering’ in the way that buildings, cars etc are built. for others it is just the shock of living life one way and then having to learn how to live differently. i find most people get depressed when having to deal with such a change in their lives.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Luticha D., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : asexual, Disability : Paralyzed, Race : creole, Religion : existentialist, Age : 21, City : Fairport, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #29187

    Michael
    Participant

    Heather, you probably know that there a great number of differant disabilities, and depending on what you are disabled by, i.e.-diseases, missing limbs, etc. you are being too general in your question. My wife has Multiple Schlerosis and I could give you a thousand reasons why she feels her life is ‘over’. If you are truly interested in an answer to your question, you should research whichever disability you are talking about,either on the web or in a library. You will probably be surprised with what you come up with.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : blown out back, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : not enough space, Age : 47, City : Tacoma, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : disabled-back-not over, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #45146

    Chip-Maner
    Participant

    Let’s say that you must compete in a bizarre game of skill against three others. They are all naturally skillful, you are not. There will be only one winner, and the losers will be killed. Would you think you had no chance? That your life was over? Now let’s say this game is just life. Some people with disabilities feel that they are at a great disadvantage, and can never ‘win’ when competing against people with no disability. Even worse, other participants in this game often consider the disabled ‘in the way,’ or not even worthy to play the game at all. In truth, most people can succeed if they desire to do so, including the disabled. But having the confidence and discipline to ‘overcome’ is more difficult for some people. These people would rather not play than take a chance on losing.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chip-Maner, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 34, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Builder, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #17342

    Joe30613
    Participant

    Coming from a person with a disability i assure you this does include all disabled people. But, its safe to say that even disabled people have bad days just like everyone one else. We just got one more problem to put on the fire.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Joe30613, City : Glendora, State : CA Country : United States, 
    #34871

    While I cannot answer for others I can tell you the process I have gone through. I became ‘officially disabled’ meaning I qualified under the Social Security regulations as unable to obtain or maintain gainful employment two and a half years ago. I have worked steadily since I was 13 years old and one of the most difficult issues I had was that I am unable to support myself. There are a large number of things I can no longer do for myself and that frustrates me. I have had to accept a new definition of who I am. It doesn’t help that my disability isn’t immediately visible. Just looking at me you would be surprised to find that I am unable to walk more than 20 yards or so and I cannot lift more than 5 pounds or so without extreme pain. All of these things contribute to depression. While depression can be defined as an imbalance of the chemicals in your brain I find it is the feeling you get when life exceeds your abilities. I have fought my way past these feelings of worthlessness but I know that a lot of folks do not have the support structure I have been graced with. Just remember, a person who is fighting the feeling that their life is over is going through a time of redefining who they are, some folks get stuck in that process maybe because they don’t see any options in front of them.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chris Green, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : spinal arthritis with extensive nerve damage, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 43, City : Little Rock, State : AR Country : United States, Occupation : Retired, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #39027

    Michael
    Participant

    a person has to know their limitations , either you can jump rope , or you can’t . your not anyless for it. pick another project to excel at, not everyone can paint, draw , sew, or do serious math . what ever is chosen , give it your all . anyless will haunt you .

    User Detail :  

    Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 51, City : markesan, State : WI Country : United States, Occupation : retirered, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
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