Dating in black and white

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  • #10661

    William
    Member

    The subject of black men choosing to date white women is an often-recurring subject at Y? Forum. The reasons black men go there, according to black women, are numerous, complicated and usually demeaning to white women: they take s*** from black men, they’re pushovers, they’re easy, just to list a few. What if the real reason some black men date white women? What if some simply find white women more appealing? Is that too painful to consider?

    User Detail :  

    Name : William, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 39, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #30614

    Jennifer30855
    Participant

    For some black women, yes, maybe it *is* too painful to consider. Others really do believe the demeaning things they say. Personally, I could care less.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jennifer30855, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Non-Profit, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25017

    Renni
    Participant

    It wouldn’t be too painful to consider if so many of the Black men that I know didn’t openly voice their reasons to us. Personally, I think who you fall in love with is no one’s business, but when we are told ‘they’re easier to deal with’ as the reason (among other things)it’s annoying. Just my two-cents

    User Detail :  

    Name : Renni, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Dayton, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : IT Professional, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 
    #23160

    Nicole20044
    Participant

    I am a black woman and really don’t see as many black men going after white women as you say. You may think this because you are a white man, and you may observe differently from me. We blacks think differently, and see that white women tend to go after black men because of their different and appealing physical attributes. But most black women do not think negatively about white women. Maybe a few have said it, but we don’t think that about white women at all. We very rarely think about it at all, because there is a low number of black men ‘choosing’ white women. For those who do, it is because they find them beautiful, like they may find Chinese, Hispanic, black and Indian women beautiful, also, not because they are more appealing or better than us.

    You make it seem as black women are jealous of whites. It is good to be proud of your own, but do not degrade us. I think black men are more open to interracial relationships. They seem to date all kinds of races (not just ‘drooling’ over whites), which is unlike white men. White men seem to not be attracted to, or are afraid of, women of other races. But I have a question for you: Are you attracted to black women at all? It is extremely rare to see white men dating women of other races. Do you white men find white women totally superior to us?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Nicole20044, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 19, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #23434

    Lindsey
    Member

    I don’t necessarily think black men who date white women date them for those specific reasons. Love sees no color. Maybe some black men ‘chase’ after white women, but there are many who don’t and are with their significant other because they love them and not because of their race. Most of the time that’s the case, and race isn’t even an issue.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Lindsey, Gender : F, Race : Bi-racial (white/black), Age : 15, City : Hamilton, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, 
    #23940

    David25902
    Participant

    There are several reasons black males gravitate toward white females:
    1. Self-hatred of their blackness leads them to get as ‘close’ to white as they can.
    2. Rebellious black males seeking to overturn the ultimate taboo in historic black/white relations, and advertise the power to do this in public.
    3. Black males’ refusal to put up with mouthy, pushy black females.

    Contributing factors in this are:
    1. Adventurous white females seeking to explore the myth of black sexual prowess/endowment.
    2. Weak-minded white females eager for acceptance by a boy, even if black.

    I cannot pretend impartiality on this subject. I find it repugnant for swaggering blacks to flaunt the white women they attract, and shameful for these women to have so little self-respect to be seen in such company and in such consort. I am pretty open-minded on most subjects, but for me, this crosses a line.

    User Detail :  

    Name : David25902, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 44, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #29160

    A.R.
    Member

    I agree with you. In my experience, I haven’t found that black women are LESS willing to take sh*t from men, regardless of their color. Women are women and men are men. Preference and sexual attraction is complex and shouldn’t be based on racial stereotypes.

    User Detail :  

    Name : A.R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 30, City : Astoria, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Actor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #29678

    Charles L.
    Member

    The majority of black men who date white women are dating them for the negative reasons you stated. But there are a few who do find white women attractive, just as some black women find white men attractive. The only problem is that no matter how appealing a white woman is to a black man, she cannot provide the things a black woman can provide. The two are much too different. A black man can only stand being in the presence of a white woman long enough to have sex with her, and then he leaves. A black woman provides much more, which the majority of black men already know. We do not find white women more appealing. Chances are if a black man does, a more appealing black woman will come along and take him away. Do not flatter your women, friend.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Charles L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 22, City : Myrtle Beach, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #30532

    Tanith
    Member

    Each person tends to find certain physical characteristics more attractive than others, whether it’s skin, hair, eye color or body shape.

    Your quote: “The reasons black men go there, according to black women, are numerous, complicated and usually demeaning to white women: they take s*** from black men, they’re pushovers, they’re easy, just to list a few.’

    Those reasons are B.S., in my opinion. The real reasons are more complicated. First, there’s personal preference. However, one’s preference is often affected by cultural standards of beauty. And in American/European society, the white, blonde and skinny standard of beauty, especially female beauty, is idealized. Hence the reason many black women straighten their hair to make it look more ‘white,’ and why Micheal Jackson had plastic surgery to make him look ‘white.’ I think black people look beautiful just the way God made them, and they shouldn’t have to change the way they look.

    Everyone is culturally conditioned to believe white skin is the most beautiful. Many people mostly break out of this mentality, but deep down it’s often still there. I think this affects how black men view white women. On the other hand, some of them just prefer those of another race, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tanith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Disability : Autistic, Race : Irish-American, Religion : Pagan, Age : 20, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #31985

    Keisha26533
    Participant

    Perhaps you should direct your question to black men if you really want to know their reasons for dating white women. Most of these reasons you’ve listed above are indeed the main ones black men go after white women. Personally I don’t give a damn if black men prefer dating green chicks from outer space.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Keisha26533, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, 
    #32175

    Elyse
    Participant

    I kind of agree that maybe some black men just prefer pale skin and thin hair. Whatever floats their boat, you know? I’m African American and 17, and I’ve never dated a black guy, only white guys. So far it’s because the black guys I’ve run into are very disrespectful. Plus I live in Livonia, so I don’t meet many of them, anyhow.

    People should forget race, period. If someone chooses another race, that’s them; if you choose different, so what? And for the black women who put up a fuss about it, William is kind of right: you get mad because you put up with black men’s bulls*** and then get p***ed off when they broaden their horizons, so to speak. You should do the same and stop being bitter. Be comfortable with yourself, you have your natural tans and full lips … enjoy it girls. I sure do.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Elyse, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 17, City : Livonia, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : student, Social class : Upper class, 
    #34197

    Kelly R.
    Member

    That’s a perfectly good explanation for two people to be together, regardless of race. And I’m sure that happens a lot. But I believe a lot of black men are under the assumption that white women are more submissive than black women. Black women tend to be more independent and assertive – some people would say ‘loud.’ Whatever.

    Some men want a woman who will do whatever he wants her to do. And being a professional black woman, I know that is hard to find in a black woman. It seems as if white women are raised a little differently than black women, probably out of necessity.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Kelly R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 25, City : St. Louis, State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : university instructor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #36494

    A .Ifebigh
    Member

    I am from Nigeria and have been in the United States about five years. I never knew this was an issue until I got here and became aware of it. I don’t know why it is an issue, but I notice mixed-race couples more than before. It does not bother me, and it is possible that black men just find white women more appealing. I guess when you look at the fact that a significant percentage of black men are incarcerated, on drugs, etc., it kind of puts a limit on the amount of available black men out there. This is an answer I got from a co-worker who is African American. Growing up in Nigeria, most of my friends were of mixed parentage, so I never questioned it. It was part of my life. My sister is married to a white man, my aunt is married to a white man, and so is my uncle, who lives in California. I have also heard him say the same things black women say – that is, that white women are easier to handle or deal with. It makes me wonder whether that may just be the real reason, or if that is just another stereotype.

    User Detail :  

    Name : A .Ifebigh, City : North miami, State : FL Country : United States, 
    #36715

    Jamara
    Member

    All black women know these are the reasons, not to mention white girls are freaknasties in bed. By the way, when in their own company, black men admit this. Just not to whites.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jamara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Anchorage, State : AK Country : United States, Occupation : Office manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 
    #30742

    Sherman
    Member

    Im a black man that has dated both white and black women and I don’t have any preference, yet simply because I have date a white woman I am constantly labeled by every one of my black female friends as ‘being into white girls’ even though the majority of the women that i’ve dated have been black. Maybe there are some black men who are looking for that stereotypical white girl but thats not always the case, sometimes it’s because thats the person that you connect with.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sherman, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 34, City : Richmond, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Contractor, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 
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