Can you tell I’m depressed?

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  • #3671

    Mary C.
    Member

    I am taking anti-depressants and getting counseling for anxiety and depression. Do you think there is a “depressed look” or demeanor about such people? I have been making the greatest effort of my life to communicate with more people, but sometimes I feel like people can see my illness and are put off by it.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mary C., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : American Indian, Religion : Unity School of Christianity, Age : 38, City : Cleveland, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #14138

    Matthew
    Member

    I am going to appeal to your Native American heritage when I say that most people see more than just a physical image when we look at others. We don’t always discuss it, but we know in general if a friend feels well or not, if someone is generally happy, mean, nice, etc. So I suspect that you are depressed, and instead of spending your attention on the whys of that, you are going off into an area not in your best interests. When you feel well on the inside, the outside has no choice but to reflect it. Unfortunately, the reverse is true. So please don’t spend time/energy on trying to overcome an internal issue with an external solution. It will not work. Be nice to yourself and take the time to learn more about yourself. I suspect that one day soon you will notice that the looks you receive are not regarding your depression, but probably some positive attribute of yours.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Matthew, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, 
    #13764

    Jerry-S30955
    Participant

    Possibly you aren’t used to smiling pleasantly, but more likely I think your social skills may not be up to the task you’ve set yourself. ‘Making an effort’ to communicate may come across as forced, which can be off-putting. Perhaps you shouldn’t try quite so hard.

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    Name : Jerry-S30955, Gender : M, City : New Britain, State : CT Country : United States, 
    #38604

    Ronald-V29677
    Participant

    One of the symptoms of depression is an oversensitivity to others’ disapproval. In fact, the disapproval is more often in the mind of the beholder. Having been down that path myself, I found that getting outside of myself was a great relief. Volunteering at a hospital or making new friends has been a tremendous help. Depression can be hidden, which is dangerous. If depression is out in the open, then other people can be supportive. The most likely people to be a support to you are those who have gone through depression themselves.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ronald-V29677, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 48, City : Edmonton, Alberta, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #19761

    David-E
    Participant

    I don’t believe there is a set answer. I remember working with a girl who was just one bundle of laughs and fun. When I got to know her better I discovered she was on anti-depressants. I was very surprised. Later, due to personal problems of my own, I, too, found myself on anti-depressants. Although I tried to hide it, it was obvious to all I was depressed. It was only when I was able to treat the underlying causes of the depression that I became a real person again. It took many months and some radical changes to my life. I do have setbacks from time to time, but I get through them. For what it’s worth, the girl I worked with is still outwardly happy, and still on depressants.

    User Detail :  

    Name : David-E, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 45, City : Evesham, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : teacher, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #34439

    Stacey
    Member

    This depends on the person. I have a friend who you can tell rather easily. He also says that after being around someone, he can tell if that person has depression issues. When I have problems, I tend to hide it with a smiley face. All other times I’m smiling so you can’t tell the difference. So it’s definitely a personal thing. Obviously, it would also depend on how well your therapy is going and your overall attitude. There are a lot of people who deal with a lot of crazy things but still manage to look on the bright side. I know that’s very difficult at times, but it’s the better choice.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stacey, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jehovahs Witness, Age : 28, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #42584

    Mike20406
    Participant

    I too have been diagnosed with depression and am on meds for it (about five years now). I think that sometimes it is our own efforts to try to be ‘nice’ or ‘normal’ that give us away. I know that I can be (to others) happy and joking one minute, but when I am alone a few minutes later I drop back down to a low spot. I think it might be this swing that people see, and, just as you can tell when someone is trying too hard to ‘be’ something, I think they can tell when we try to ‘be’ happy when we are not. Keep up the counseling, and ask your doctor about adding a mood stabilizer to your meds (i.e. Depakote); it really helped smooth out my swings.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mike20406, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Migraines, GAD, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Mormon, Age : 36, City : Las Vegas, State : NV Country : United States, Occupation : Military, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #16642

    Cathy
    Member

    I am also on anti-depressants. I also have a learning disability called ADHD. For the most part, most people can’t tell that I am depressed. As long as I take my medicine I feel normal. Sometimes, like most people, I can feel depressed and upset while I am on my medicine. Just continue to take your medicine and people will not think that you are different. Now, if you are communicating with someone who is depressed but is on medicine and you haven’t been taking your medicine, they could probably tell that you have been depressed.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Cathy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : ADHD, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 18, City : Baton Rouge, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, 
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