Can a man NOT be in the mood for sex?

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  • #3720

    KMW
    Member

    When a woman is not in the mood for sex, a man is not supposed to push the issue and should give the woman some space. But how come if the man is not in the mood to have sex it’s always a fiasco? (I.E. cheating accusations and comments like ‘whats wrong I don’t turn you on anymore?) Why ca’nt a guy just simply not be in the mood for sex?

    User Detail :  

    Name : KMW, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #31451

    Ann L. Lowenstein
    Participant

    Welcome to the wide world of double standards. The American culture has so heavily emphasized and ingrained the stereotypes of ‘man = horndog cheating playah’ and ‘woman = borderline frigid vestal virgin’ that if a man OR woman has the poor taste not to live down to his or her respective stereotype, then ‘obvioulsy’ something must be ‘wrong.’ If you want some perspective on this, try sitting back and thinking about how you’ve labeled a woman who had the poor judgement to admit in public that she likes sex and is usually in the mood. My guess is you probably immediately branded her a ‘slut’ or a ‘ho’.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #28820

    Laurie
    Participant

    Hi; I’m female, heterosexual, and 55, and I am in a 7-year relationship with a guy. Sometimes he’s not in the mood for sex when he’s worried about his finances. When that happens, I don’t say, ‘What’s the matter, don’t I turn you on?’ nor ‘Are you cheating on me?’ I just say, ‘Sorry you’re feeling anxious,’ and ask if there is anything I can do to relieve his anxiety. (Usually he takes this opportunity to talk about his worries.) The women I hang out with are like me in this way too. My guess is that younger women are more likely to act like you’ve described than older women, due to lack of: experience, understanding or maturity. I also think women’s responses may vary from subculture to subculture. I’ve also noticed that TV, ads, etc. today promote the attitude you described more than they did when I was in my 20’s.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Laurie, Gender : Female, Age : 56, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, 
    #28544

    Molly
    Member

    My boyfriend always wants sex. Well, at least that’s what it seems like. And when he doesn’t, which is only once is a very great while, it does concern me a little. I can’t help but secretly worry that I’m doing something wrong, or there’s something wrong with me. But, that’s all it is..I keep it to myself. Some girls just might be a little more vocal in expressing their worries. I mean, doesn’t everyone feel a little less self-confident when they get turned down for sex?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Molly, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 18, City : Cedar Rapids, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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