Black men calling girlfriends “bitch”

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  • #10639

    Craig
    Member

    In college I was in an African-American Studies class, and the professor said calling girlfriends your “bitch” was acceptable in the black community. Years later, a local white female DJ was interviewing a rapper and asked him about his lyrics that referred to women as “bitch,” and said it sounded mysogynistic. He said, “We are talking in code. If you were a sister, I would call you my bitch or my ho and you would like it.” She said, “No, believe me, I wouldn’t.” So I would like to ask African-American women: Is this true? Is it just code and not derogatory? Is it something you like being referred to?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Craig, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, 
    #35528

    RG30162
    Participant

    “Bitch” and “ho” are in the same category as nigger. They are negative words by definition, but can take on different meanings depending on the context of the conversation. There are sistas who don’t mind being called bitch or ho, and refer to themselves as such, and then there are women like myself who think much more of themselves than that. Nothing is universal.

    User Detail :  

    Name : RG30162, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : Richmond, State : VA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #40399

    annonymous
    Member

    Craig: Caveat: I am not talking to you directly. WHAT! Whew!!! Okay, now that I’ve calmed down. Let me respond intelligently. I saw a play once, and at the end, the playright addressed the audience with some of her other work. She presented a piece, roughly translated, ‘When You Call Me Bitch’. Let it suffice to say that she and countless other Black women like myself do not consider ‘bitch’ a term of endearment. The idiot who said otherwise, is just that. As for the women who accept this address and use this term, I say it’s a sad commentary of how some of us view ourselves. I’d no sooner call another woman ‘bitch’ as I would call another human being ‘nigga’. Additionally, I’d like to ask the rapper if he would tolerate someone addressing his mother, daughter, sister, aunt or grandmother this way. I can think of a few choice explictives for the assertion from both the professor and the rapper: bullsh–! Lastly, everything that is associated with any particular group is not necessarily or uniformly acceptable to all members of a group. If you’d like to see the ‘hood’ in me, try calling me a ‘bitch’.

    User Detail :  

    Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, 
    #47273

    Rachel30204
    Participant

    I would say most black women do not enjoy being called “bitch” or “ho”. It seems to be more common among younger black men and women as far as being a “code”. I think it would be rare to find any black woman over 30 who would put up with being called those names.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rachel30204, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : Lansing, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #32657

    Amanda31523
    Participant

    Let me make it perfectly clear that no black female with an ounce of self-esteem likes to be refered to as “bitch.” It is not a “code,” and it is not acceptable. As a matter of fact, that really is not the everyday occurrence you seem to think it is. It mostly happens only in hardcore rap songs and is done by those trying to maintain the hardcore persona. Thinking that this is accepted and appreciated by most is like thinking that white mothers like to be called that by their sons because it happens so often in hardcore alternative/metal music.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Amanda31523, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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