Bisexuality–Either or Both?

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  • #10687

    Stephanie
    Member

    I am a lesbian in a year-old relationship with a bisexual woman. This is the first gay relationship for both of us. Lately she told me she misses sex with men and hopes to find a male lover while keeping a relationship with me. My question is, Do many bisexuals feel the need to act on both aspects of their sexuality at the same time? Do you find it difficult to be in a monomagous relationship with one gender?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephanie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 35, City : Madison, State : WI Country : United States, Occupation : Professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #17186

    Emma25377
    Participant

    I am bisexual, and I don’t feel the need to be in a relationship with both at the same time. Yes, I miss things about men when I’m dating a woman, and yes, I miss things about women when I’m dating a man, but I don’t act on that, because I feel like it is cheating. It’s also not important to me to have every kind of experience at once, when I could be exploring the wonderful qualities of one person. I guess the gist of it is, it’s not the actions I date, or the equipment. It’s the person.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Emma25377, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 24, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Secretary, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #27355

    Jenny30915
    Participant

    Yes, it is difficult to be in a monomagous relationship because you constantly crave both. While your with one sex you feel a biological drive to seek out the other. I’ve been in 2 monogamous realtionships before and been miserable in both. I absolutely need both a male and female. One is never enough for me.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jenny30915, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Asian, Religion : Buddhist, City : NYC, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : doctor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #27919

    Desty
    Member

    Monogamy is not something you’re excused from because of sexual orientation. Your partner may miss sex with men, but you may as well counter that you miss sex with other women – but by agreeing to be in a monogamous relationship you effectively lose your ‘right’ to that. Your partner may just be experimenting with bisexuality; maybe she has intimacy/commitment problems, which, believe me, I can sympathize with. But that’s a problem that’s due to me, not my sexuality.

    I know plenty of bisexual people who can commit – and who argue that the greatest thing about bisexuality is that it allows you to act on love without the conventional barriers of sex. On the other hand, I know plenty of straight people who just can’t settle down. If monogamy in your relationship is an issue you have to confront (and it sounds like it is), you have to leave sexuality out of it – it’s not an accusation, and it’s definitely not an excuse.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Desty, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, City : n/a, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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