- January 12, 2001 at 12:00 am #9197
Why does it seem so common for African-American people to have children without being married? I hear the phrases ‘my baby’s mama’ or ‘my baby’s daddy’ (rather than ex-husband or ex-wife) so frequently on TV and the R&B and hip-hop stations I listen to – even in songs. It doesn’t seem as common among white people.
User Detail :Name : Mariah C., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Southfield, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Sales Rep, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, January 13, 2001 at 12:00 am #26543
ClifParticipantFebruary 19, 2001 at 12:00 am #38281
There are many reasons for the black single parent phenomenon, but I will try to briefly explain some of them. Because of the history of racism, as well as male behavior of all races, many black men do not want to marry at a young age, or at all. They want to move from woman to woman. The women know this, and hesitate to want to marry them; in any case, sometimes the women are also cynical about a marriage lasting, and don’t want to be tied to a man who they don’t love and who doesn’t love them. Birth control is not 100 percent effective, even if used consistently, which is often not the case. Black women do have abortions, but due to a more traditional Christian upbringing, they may be against that option. Also, family is very important in the black community, and a child born of an ‘unwed mother’ is not likely to be shunned, because this child is valued and loved as a family member. All of these factors and more result in more single parents among blacks.
User Detail :Name : Makia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, May 7, 2001 at 12:00 am #36885
The term ‘Baby’s Mama’ comes from the Jamaican Patois term “Baby’s Mother.”
User Detail :Name : Marcus R., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 18, City : South Pasadena, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, May 8, 2001 at 12:00 am #24735
Loved the explanation of the value of the family. I was wondering if it also had something to do with the fact that during the time of slavery, slaves were not allowed to officially marry–they just found their love and ‘declared’ themselves married. From what I understand, many of these relationships were more solid than many formal marriages now but since neither a slave marriage nor a family were recognized or respected it must have been difficult to develop the tradition of a nuclear family. Also wonder if it has something to do with the fact that a child born into slavery tended to stay with their mom. So fathers (not by choice, certainly) did not have to take any responsibility.
User Detail :Name : Beth, City : Colorado Springs, State : CO Country : United States, November 14, 2001 at 12:00 am #14918
I think the other guy who responded to this is right and gave a lot of options I hadn’t thought of. I particularly want to address that use of ‘my baby daddy.’ I don’t like it much, either, because most of these rap songs seem to glorify that state of motherhood. However, a lot of these black women are young and have a skewed idea of a relationship with a man in addition to motherhood. But I wouldn’t reduce it to just black. I think other races do, too – I know several whites, Asians and Mexicans who are married and have children. For some reason, though, it seems like something to keep hidden and maybe be ashamed of in other races, and so it is not broadcast in the same way.
I also agree with the other person when he said black people do not participate in abortion as much as other races. I think that is true, especially among lower classes, who couldn’t afford it even if they wanted to. And unfortunately, lower-class black people are often the individuals having children out of wedlock.
User Detail :Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Don't believe in religion, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, November 14, 2001 at 12:00 am #38352
It’s a carryover from slave days. Sometimes a slave master wouldn’t allow his slaves to get married to the person of their choice. Many of the marriages were arranged for social and economic reasons. So these slaves would have relationships with other slaves of their choice without being married. Sometimes a slave master would forbid one of his ‘favorite’ female slaves from marrying another man. There is a really good example of this in the book The Classic Slave Narratives. It’s an extremely good book. It just goes to show you how something done in the past can enormously affect the future.
User Detail :Name : K-Joseph26910, Gender : F, Race : West Indian-American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 19, City : Bronx, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : College Student,
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