Asian Women – Where’s the Love?

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 21 total)
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  • #3921

    Michael C.
    Participant

    As an Asian male, I cannot help but notice the amount of interracial dating by Asian females. I know there are the stereotypes about Asian men (too sexist, not manly, not well-endowed physically, etc.) But there has got to be a more valid reason, and I am curious to know why.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Michael C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Age : 28, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #30044

    Susan P.
    Member

    As an Asian female who has dated Asians, Caucasians and African Americans, I cannot help noticing the amount of inerracial dating by all people. I dated people on the basis of personality and physical attraction and then I noticed his ethnic background. Is it possible that the Asian women you’re noticing could be dating the men they are dating because they like them for who they are and not beacuse of who they are not?

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    Name : Susan P., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 38, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Artist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #44662

    ACC25046
    Participant

    A lot of people are not going to like what I’m passing on from my Filipina wife. She says that Hollywood puts out unintentionally white supremacist images of white males as the most superior, most handsome, and most desirable. Many Asian women fall for that because they don’t have any basis for comparison. She tells me she was truly shocked when she came here to actually see white males that were fat, old, unattractive, not wealthy, etc, because Hollywood movies rarely showed them. Sometimes this desire to chase after a fantasy image of white males shows up in bizarre ways. It’s quite common in Asia for women from families with a little money to get ‘white looking’ eyelid surgery, or bleach their skin. Japanese animation even shows characters with Japanese names with very Caucasian looks. And of course some Asian women in the US do something equally bizarre, they dye their hair blond or red. I’m not sure if it says something about how isolated Asian communities are if Asian women born here still fall for the same nonsense, but many clearly do. They view dating and marrying whites as ‘moving up in the world.’ I imagine having tons of white males who chase after Asian women because they fall for the whole racist geisha fantasy/Suzie Wong submissive stereotype plays a big part too. One more thing: we can dismiss the whole penis size stereotype about Asians. My wife tells me that in Asia there were a lot of jokes about white males having very small penises, especially for their body size. She suspects the jokes originally came from prostitutes who come into contact with American servicemen and sex tourists. I have no idea which, if any, of the stereotypes are true, and frankly don’t care. But it is amusing to me that two ethnic groups both have the same stereotype about each other.

    User Detail :  

    Name : ACC25046, Gender : M, Race : Mexican and American Indian, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Teacher, 
    #36190

    Dan27377
    Participant

    I took an Asian American Women’s Studies class as an undergrad, so I reckon I’m somewhat qualified to answer. Basically, because white guys are held as an ‘ideal.’ Latinos often accuse Latinas of seeking to hook up with a white guy in order to escape the barrio and gain status in the mainstream world. Now, as you noted, Asian men have been ‘desexualized’ by U.S. popular culture, whereas Asian women have been ‘sexualized.’ Stereotypes surrounding the former range from computer geek to Mr. Miagi, or Jet Li at best (and pop culture doesn’t view him in the same light as Brad Pitt or Denzel). Whereas with the latter, you have everything from the ‘lotus blossom’ to the ‘dragon lady’ to the ‘exotic other’ to the ‘domestic ideal’ to you-name-it. So, there’s no shortage of white guys drooling over Asian women, with an image in their mind of someone who is exotic, feminine, and who shuts up and does the dishes. Also, because everyone thinks Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom are hunky (and only admire Jet Li for his destructive powers) and all the other conditioning that takes place (beginning in preschool and continuing forever), Asian American women are encouraged to be attracted to white men. So, Asian American men are desexualized to Asian and non-Asian women, Asian American women are sexualized / exoticized to white men (not to mention men of other colors), and white men are presented to Asian American women (as well as Latinas and women of other colors) as the ideal. That’s basically how it happens, in a general, macrosociological sense.

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    Name : Dan27377, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 25, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Grad Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #23846

    Greg
    Member

    but I’m taking a class asian-american culture and there was a class discussion about this and it basically boiled down to the media image of asian men versus all other men. Asian men are usually portrayed as weak saps and are the ones who get killed while bravely saving someone else. Meanwhile, the other races have something or another going for them in pop culture, and that gets ingrained in the women. So in a way, they have this impression of asian guys as well-meaning nerds and the other races as powerful or cool or whatever. I think. I’m not an asian woman, so I’m not absolutely sure.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Greg, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 19, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #19134

    Jocelyn30572
    Participant

    I think there are two primary reasons Asian females often go for non-Asian guys: 1) many Asian guys are less forward about asking women out and 2) Asian guys often appear less mature. My theory on the second item is that Asian parents ‘baby’ their children more than parents from some other cultures, and as a result, their children may take longer to develop confident, independent attitudes.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jocelyn30572, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Age : 23, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #32588

    frumpy-anus21725
    Participant

    asian men do not respect their women and that is why they go with white men who are nice and have cash.

    User Detail :  

    Name : frumpy-anus21725, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : mentally ill, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : i hate religion, Age : 29, City : belmar, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #36626

    Nathan20143
    Participant

    As an asian-american male who has pondered this question with my friends (other asian-american males) for a long time the answer sadly is not so simple. One of my friends brings up the point that it stems from primal ‘cavewoman’ instincts. Asian females living in a pre-dominate white male society will tend to pair off with a white-male because the benefits to their offspring are more obvious than if they were to have a full asian child. Cavewomen would choose the best hunter/gatherers from their clan. Surely in a white male dominated society, a white mate would bring more to the plate. Another theory is that it’s a sort of self-hating subconscious that asian females might tend to have. Living in a society with no positive asian male role models will do that. Therefore, you opt for the mate which society deems a suitable partner. And yet another theory is that asian females unconsciously see asia males as old world or ‘traditional’ because they equate them with their father figures (who might usually be a first generation immigrant). All in all, it’s complicated and I definitely feel your pain brother.

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    Name : Nathan20143, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #44478

    Katie26711
    Participant

    When you say ‘a more valid reason,’ what do you mean? I date alot of White guys because most of the guys I know are White. Most of the Asian guys I knew in high school and college were into dating other (full) Asians and hanging out with other (full) Asians. Since I didn’t grow up around a huge community of Korean kids and I’m not full Korean, I think dating in such a tight social network feels limiting to me. I also think you might be underestimating the power of the cultural fetish for Asian women, which attracts many men of other ethnicities. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work the same way for Asian men.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Katie26711, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : mixed-race (Asian and White), Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : sales, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #28287

    Katie
    Member

    I think the stereotype of Asian men, even though it’s just a stereotype, may well affect the behavior of the people around you. Also, in my experience, the Korean boys I’ve known have been only interested in dating within their race.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Katie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : mixed Korean and White, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : retail, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
    #15908

    J21170
    Participant

    I have noticed that a large amount of non-Asian males are dating Asian women as well. It could be that more of them are asking Asian women for dates than Asian men are.

    User Detail :  

    Name : J21170, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States, 
    #38795

    Ed
    Member

    If you’ve lived on the East Coast, you’ll probably see a higher percentage of Asian women with white men. That’s just cause 1) of all the possible available men, most of them are white, so you’re bound to get more interracial dating and 2) East Coast Asians tend to assimilate and adopt white culture much more than West Coast Asians. When you adopt more white culture, white then becomes more ‘normal’ and thus acceptable for dating. Having lived on both coasts, I see that on the West Coast Asians are a much greater percentage of the population, and retain more of their Asian culture. So Asian women tend to think of Asian men as more ‘normal’ if they live in a majority Asian community.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ed, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Milpitas, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #29886

    Jonath
    Member

    It’s the stereotypes and cultural brainwash. It tells them white men are the definition of masculinity. They suscribe to white beauty and begin to prefer white values and white culture more than the asian culture that asian men grow under. There is no similar stereotype for asian women. It’s actually the opposite. White men are taught that asian women are sexy and exotic. Why the huge disparity between stereotypes of the sexes is beyond me. There’s lots of theories and quite a bit of people griping about it, but it’s not going to change any time soon. I think what we asian males should do is try to overcome those outdated and largely negative stereotypes and show people what we really are.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jonath, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Age : 19, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #28872

    anonymous23726
    Participant

    I don’t know what the situation is like where you live, but in my part of the Mid-West there seem to be very few Asians. A shame because I absolutely love Asian guys! Anyway, my point is that where there are few Asians (or African-Americans, Native Americans, or pick an ethnic group) it seems more likely for someone – male or female – to date outside of their own ethnicity. Just my theory. Obviously, this only applies to places without much ethnic diversity. I don’t know about other areas.

    User Detail :  

    Name : anonymous23726, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : near Louisville, State : KY Country : United States, Occupation : self employed, Social class : Middle class, 
    #38954

    ProgMetalFanMan
    Participant

    Honestly. Wouldnt a family member know better? And to be honest, I think most Asian men would make wonderful partners for white women. They are well groomed, clean, educated, intelligent and usually care for their families. I wonder if any of it has to do with the novelty of it? I hear white women in Japan are almost always considered beautiful and that Asian men aer considered sexy in parts of Europe.

    User Detail :  

    Name : ProgMetalFanMan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Piss poor vision in one eye, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 31, City : Montgomery Village, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : Draftsman, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class, 
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