Any old-fashioned young men left?

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 36 total)
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  • #10879

    Cynthia31773
    Participant

    Why is it so difficult to find men between the ages of 22 and 33 who are old-fashioned? By that I mean they are decently dressed and well-kept, have good taste, open doors (especially on car) for women, stand up when women enter and leave the room and are comfortable in a more formal dining setting. It’s not that I’m looking for a metrosexual type. Those guys are sometimes a little too ‘funky’ for my tastes. I’d just like someone more old-fashioned and proper.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Cynthia31773, Gender : F, Race : Asian, Age : 25, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Graduate Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #23188

    I would best describe myself as having a Victorian attitude. I find most women think of this as unattractive.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Christopher, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 28, City : Davis, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #26292

    Anne
    Member

    I have noticed that many of the men trying online dating (Match.com, specifically) describe themselves with many of those qualities. And, contrary to popular belief, a good portion of those guys actually crave cuddling. Although I haven’t discovered my ‘match’ yet, I have met quite a few really good guys and know there are plenty more in other parts of the world.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Anne, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 21, City : Cedar Falls, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #31942

    Julie
    Member

    Often, when men are ‘old fashioned’ when it comes to the things that you describe, they also harbored sexist beliefs. That being said, everyone-man woman or hermaphrodite-should have good manners.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Julie, Gender : F, Race : Black, Age : 33, City : Woodbridge, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Gov't Contracting, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #15146

    Vail24464
    Participant

    Some of these things are just out of fashion, like the standing up bit. I fit a few of them, although I’m not a young man. I did know a women who was offended at men who opened doors for her. I was just always taught that it was a polite gesture and even do it for men, on occasion.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Vail24464, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mutt, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #45869

    James
    Member

    We have been programmed that women want to be equals. Why would men treat them any diffrent than they want? Some women are actually offended to be treated in such a way.

    User Detail :  

    Name : James, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Programmer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #28225

    Ryan29523
    Participant

    I am not that guy because it doesn’t fit my personality. I do open doors, and treat women right…but I wasn’t born in the 1950’s. Times change, and so do we.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ryan29523, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, 
    #39395

    Brittany19289
    Participant

    I know a number of guys who enjoy cuddling, and being gentleman. A lot of it depends on how they were raised, and if they witnessed this kind of behavior as children.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Brittany19289, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, 
    #44258

    Steven
    Member

    I’m 20 and I think I meet the description your talking about. I always open my truck door and help my friends in that are girls. I take my best friend that is a girl to get icecream once a week and pay for her. I am in college and I wear a collar shirt with nice khakis everyday. As said above, some girls think it’s wierd and alot of my friend’s laugh at me cause I don’t have a girlfriend. Sorry if I’m not just interested in sex, I would like a nice relationship but I haven’t had a girlfriend in a few years because it’s hard to find one that doesn’t just want sex. And as said above, I am a member on ‘match.com’ also haha.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Steven, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : College, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 
    #19359

    Josh
    Member

    Men of my generation have it tough when it comes to this subject. I’m all for manners and treating women kindly. However, the Political Correct garbage with which we are constantly bombarded makes it increasingly difficult to know when it’s ok to be gentlemanly.

    Opening a door for a woman can get you in trouble today. Suddenly, you are insinuating that women are too weak to open a door for themselves. Or that by opening a door for a woman a man is in some way comming on to her or expecting something in return.

    I always assume that the average person is ok with a bit of chivalry here and there, but I can see where men my age, who are definitely concerned with how they’re viewed by others, might react poorly to the, ‘feminazis,’ (sorry to quote Rush, but it’s the only thing he’s ever said of which I approve).

    Having said that, I don’t like to be taken for granted. My girlfriend and I had some words when we approached a door and she stood quietly in front of it waiting for me to open it. I had been distracted by a conversation with a friend and was looking at him instead.

    Josh

    User Detail :  

    Name : Josh, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Arcata, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Cook, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #14624

    Chris
    Participant

    Primarily because they haven’t been taught those things. Opening a door for a woman is standard for a guy my age, but opening a car door? Even men my age hardly do that any more. (I know, because I do, and I get a lot of looks in parking lots, like ‘Who are YOU trying to impress?’) And come on, asking a guy in his 20s to have ‘good taste’? These guys are college sophomores. That’s the origin of the term ‘sophomoric humor’. They need to learn that, too (and they aren’t learning much of it from women of their age).

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chris, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 51, City : Windsor, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : Construction Estimator, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18530

    Alex
    Member

    The problem is that more men are finding out that it just doesn’t pay to be a gentleman. A lot of times, a man will do all those things that you are describing, and he will still get passed over for a ‘bad boy’. Even worse, oftentimes when a man displays the behaviour you describe, he will be written off as ‘too nice’, ‘weak’ or not having enough of an ‘edge’. This is more true when interacting with young women than when interacting with more mature women.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Alex, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Atheist, Age : 29, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Software Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #16484

    Ted
    Member

    For me ‘old fashioned’ means a false idiealization of the way things once were. I don’t idealize the world my parents and grandparents grew up in and see it as a good thing that some of the cultural norms of those times have disappeared. I feel insulting when I’m chivalrious and that it negates an equal relationship. As far as dress, I like being comfortable and I don’t like materialism. I think it’s absurd that to step outside my resideance there is a certain appearance I must maintian.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ted, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 21, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #39859

    Jason31222
    Participant

    Your answer is in your question, you ask about ‘old-fashion’ men. Times change and cultural standards with them. The old gentlemanly/chivalrous behavior is not viewed by many young men as important because they are never, or at best rarely, told it is important anylonger.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jason31222, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 25, City : Yates, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #24920

    Ralph
    Member

    We’re here. That’s not the issue. The issue is that we are not the ones in the bars hitting on you, partying til 5am. We’re not the muscle-bound guys. We’re not the metrosexuals. Woman ALWAYS say that they are looking for traits like sense of humor and the things you mentioned. But when push-comes-to-shove if I am at the same party as the bad boy player, I will not get a second glance. You can’t find us because you are looking right through us.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ralph, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Bergen County, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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