Am I a lesbian?

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  • #2336

    Norma
    Participant

    I have been attracted to women, emotionally and physically for years. How do you know if you are a lesbian?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Norma, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Age : 45, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, 
    #37108

    Anna
    Member

    Unfortunately, there’s no test you can take to determine your sexual orientation. It takes time and a lot of soul searching. I would talk to the people you love and trust and start attending PFLAG meetings (search for a chapter in your area). The folks in PFLAG are there to help and support you. Good luck.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Anna, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 31, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Technology, 
    #40122

    Sarah R.
    Member

    Since you are aware of your feelings about women – though it sounds like you haven’t acted on them – I would say that you get to decide if you are a lesbian! Coming out to yourself and then to others is a long process. It involves changing your perception of yourself and becoming comfortable with a lesbian identity. There are many women who are in relationships with other women who just don’t feel comfortable with calling themselves lesbians, and that’s OK. As you continue to explore your feelings and perhaps begin talking to others about them or even acting on them, you are engaging in the coming out process and will eventually have a better sense for yourself of whether you are a lesbian or not.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sarah R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 35, City : Eugene, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 
    #33909

    RobinW
    Member

    Pay attention to your emotions and the reactions of your body. Are you equally attracted to men? Or are you attracted more to men? Or not at all to men? Human sexuality is a continuum, like a rheostat, not a simple off/on switch. I consider myself a lesbian, because I am primarily attracted to women. I’ve really only been attracted to one man in my life. (And I married him, because it was unthinkable that I might be anything but straight, in spite of all the evidence. We are still together, by the way. My lesbian life-partner lives with us, and the three of us are very happy, thank you.) I was in my forties before I was able to admit, even to myself, that women cause physical and emotional responses in me that men simply do not. So give yourself all the time you need. It is not necessary to label yourself. If you want to identify with a group, that’s one thing. But when that time comes, it will be something that you want to do.

    User Detail :  

    Name : RobinW, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 46, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
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