- January 29, 2002 at 12:00 am #10466
During a legal proceeding (that is why I will not provide name or city), a case was presented in which a Hispanic male was co-habitating with a minor Hispanic female. The female was 15 years old and pregnant by the male. I believe this male is a sexual predator and guilty of sexual assault on a minor. An attorney present stated it was ‘a cultural thing,’ and thus OK. Is an adult male having sex and impregnating a minor culturally acceptable in Hispanic cultures? If so, why? If not, please let me know so I can confront the attorney.
User Detail :Name : GTR, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Amarillo, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : law enforcement, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, January 31, 2002 at 12:00 am #14536
My father was 22 when he married my mother, who was 15. They had their first child about seven months later, though they both believe they would have eventually gotten married later. My maternal grandparents were initially opposed to the marriage, but changed their minds because they knew my father was a good man and it would be better for the child to be raised by both parents. This was back in the 1950s, and it was very common back then for an older man to marry or live with a teenage girl, though less common among Anglos than Mexican-Americans, especially middle-class Anglos. And ironically, my grandparents never married and only had common law status forced on them by a judge. That was also pretty common back then, because many people were too poor to afford weddings. Again, it was far more common among Mexican-Americans than Anglos. My own wife was 17 when we married and I was 31, and no one in our families thought any less of us for that. It’s a tough call for this case, though, because so much is left out of your question. Is this man closer in age to 19 or 59? How long have they been living together, and how old was she when they started seeing each other? Are they in love or not? The answers make quite a difference in whether he’s not much more than a confused kid himself, a man who fell in love with her in spite of her age, or just a creep out to take advantage of a naive girl. My own take is that this lawyer is desperately seeking some kind of a defense and is thus exaggerating, almost stereotyping. Yes, at least until recently, there is less of a stigma for couples with lots of difference in age than there is among Anglos. But that shouldn’t make any difference if this is someone out to use a girl for sex rather than a man taking responsibility who actually cares about her and takes care of her and their child. If it is the former, I hope you do confront this lawyer. But if it is the latter, I hope you overcome your own preconceptions and let this be.
User Detail :Name : ACC25054, Gender : M, Race : Mexican and American Indian, Age : 36, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, February 5, 2002 at 12:00 am #35682
The world does not think like Americans; other cultures may have different perceptions of when a person is an adult. In some countries, a 13-year-old girl could be considered a grown woman – or at least grown enough to marry and have kids. In these kinds of societies, adulthood is determined by biology, whether a person can produce offspring or not. In some ways I wish American culture was like this, becuase teen girls who have sex (such as the example you gave) are not being taught responsibility for their own doings. A 15-year-old girl or even a 13-year-old girl knows what they are doing when they are having sex. Of course there are situations of statutory rape, but many situations are not like that, even if the guy was older. Most men, even older ones, are not rapists, and always assuming it’s the guy’s fault when a young girl gives away her virginity continually releases the responsibility from her own hands.
User Detail :Name : Kristina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Transcriber, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, February 13, 2002 at 12:00 am #41388
It is very common in Latin America to see an age difference such as this. When my aunt married my uncle, she was 14 and he was 26. They have been happily married for 25 years. She was 19 when she had her first child. Two years later, she gave birth to another child, and that was it. They were a very healthy and stable family. In Latin America, Hispanics figure the man should be prepared to support his family and the woman should be fertile and able to give a safe birth. Access to medical aid is very, very low there, so by the time the woman is in her 30s, it gets very dangerous to give birth.
User Detail :Name : Geneva, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 19, City : Porterville, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, February 15, 2002 at 12:00 am #36819
I think it has to do with biology mostly. The female becomes less fertile as she ages whereas the male is able to conceive throughout his life, assuming no other problems are present. In the olden days men frequently had 3 or more wives because it was common for women to die in childbirth. Both of my grandfathers had 3 wives each. Also, another reason could be that isolation/geography and travel were limited and the pool of available spouses was frequently limited by economics as well. Who could afford a wife was usually the question, not who was the right age. The Hispanic culture especially in the American southwest is very traditional in this respect, but is becoming less so. An interesting topic.
User Detail :Name : Jose, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 47, City : Farmington, State : NM Country : United States, Occupation : Social worker, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, February 19, 2002 at 12:00 am #22544
This is never acceptable, and it’s not cultural. You don’t mention how old the male is, but it still sounds like statutory rape to me. Tell the attorney that he’s only making the problem worse by stereotyping and not helping the young girl in this situation.
User Detail :Name : Rosanna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : fundraising, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 19, 2002 at 12:00 am #36085
I don’t think it’s necessarily a Hispanic thing. It’s probably more socioeconomic. He might be the best thing going for her right now, even if he’s a loser. Later on, she might shed him or stay dependent upon him for life. I had a friend who married at 18 (Hispanic) to a guy who seemed to have it all together – American pilot, photographer, older. He was actually a loser who suggested keeping their marriage ‘open’ after they were married. Eventually they divorced, and she moved on. Did he use her, or did she use him?
User Detail :Name : Honey, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Springboro, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, February 19, 2002 at 12:00 am #38312
I wish I had the book with me, so I could refer you to the article. It was an anthology of legal and theological essays about American constructions of motherhood and how they play out legally. This essay was by a Latina lawyer, about the case of a 13-year-old Mexican-American girl in Texas who lived with and had a child by a man in his twenties. (Could it be the same case? This one was settled in the mid-90s.) If I’m remembering correctly (I read the article about 2 years ago), he was prosecuted for statutory rape charges; at issue was whether the girl, defined as his common-law wife, should go to school rather than stay home with the baby. The charges were dismissed on the basis of the cultural defense–lawyers argued that in Mexican culture, it was acceptable for such couplings and therefore, he didn’t know he was committing statutory rape. The author of the article argued against this defense, characterizing it as a way for American officials to evade their responsibility to protect the girl’s well-being–if she had been white, there’s no way that defense would have flown. The author also characterized it as a way for people to cloak the sexism encapsulated by the defense in ‘cultural sensitivity’–essentially using one political cause to sell out another–which is why the case divided liberals so much. I will look up the author and the article and refer you to it.
User Detail :Name : Samara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Keene, State : NH Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 21, 2002 at 12:00 am #16715
Do you want all these couples and their families to break up and send all the men to prison just because you don’t like what we do? My father was a good man and not a rapist, and neither am I, and it is ignorant and offensive for you to insult us by saying we are. I’d actually prefer my daughters wind up with older men because they treat them far better and have more maturity than the guys their own age. There are valid reasons that it is common for older men to be with younger girls among Latinos, and simply because you didn’t know this is more a sign of your own not realizing that than anything else.
User Detail :Name : ACC25069, Race : Mexicana and American Indian, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, October 18, 2003 at 12:00 am #32443
This doesn’t happen just with Hispanics. My mom, who is white, was married at 16 and is from Oklahoma. It was not at all considered unusual. Most of her female relatives were married in their teens, too.
User Detail :Name : Tim24588, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mixed race, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 38, City : Lancaster, State : SC Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, October 18, 2003 at 12:00 am #35194
It is common to see older Mexican males with younger women. I don’t know about Mexicans living in the United States, but here in Mexico it was especially common 50 or 100 years ago. In Mexico it’s socially wrong when in a couple the woman is older than the male. Women tend to explain this by saying that when they get older, they would seem like the mothers of their husbands. Strange, yes. Also, because Mexicans for many centuries have tended to have large families, they feel a young wife will have more babies.
User Detail :Name : Mixcoatl20278, Gender : M, Race : HÃ±ahÃ±u/Asturian/Toltec, Age : 20, City : Nuevo Laredo, State : NA Country : Mexico, November 24, 2004 at 12:00 am #35485
Back to the Basics: Under US Law, the Hispanic male is guilty. He is living in the US, them he needs to abide by US LAW. The point at hand is not a culteral one. His lawyer is reaching on this one.
User Detail :Name : Mona, City : Harrisburg, State : PA Country : United States,
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