From my understanding of what I have read about women who grew up during the sexually repressed 50’s and then went on to raise kids in the more open 70’s and 80’s, it seems that this is a fairly common problem among women who are now middle-aged and older and went through the period in American social history that was very specific about how women should behave and think; that bad girls like it, but ‘good’ ones do not. ‘Good’ women were given the ‘joy of motherhood’ that comes from such a ‘shameful’ and male-oriented deed as a sort of consolation prize. As far as attaining orgasm through intercourse, fear not! There is a veritable mountain of self-help books out there for a wide variety of purposes, whether the problem be psychological inhibitions, underlying fears, sexual, or even medical. Don’t be afraid to address this issue with your doctor if you feel there might be a medical reason for failing to attain orgasm. As for myself, I have found that a little fantasy during coitus goes a long way towards bringing me to orgasm. And I agree, don’t be afraid to touch yourself during sex. Your partner will likely find this arousing rather than otherwise. Good luck!