My experience is that it varies. Some friends of mine have always known they were gay; other gay men I know didn’t come out, even to themselves, until their sixties or later. For me it was very confusing initially. I knew I was different from about 10 or so. But because I liked girls too, it took me until my early 20s to realize I was bisexual. I think you’re right not to read anything into your son’s behavior at age 5. My brother got some homophobic bullying all the way through school, because he was sensitive and fastidious. He turned out to be entirely straight. I can’t resist adding: please don’t worry or be scared about your son’s sexual orientation, regardless of what it turns out to be. He’ll be fine, particularly if he has a supportive and caring set of parents.