It sounds like you know exactly who you are and don’t apologize for it, which I admire.
Maybe it has something to do with the sort of people I generally hang around with or where I grew up (northern California), but I have had several African-American friends who liked the kinds of music you describe and shared your opinions about music in general. I think what it boils down to is that some people are more conformist and others like to go their own way, either from a different level of education or just their innate personality.
I was a teenager during the ’70s, when many of my self-identified ‘white’ peers made racist comments about disco, funk and soul music as being inferior to ‘rock,’ ignorant of the fact that bands like the Stones, The Who and Led Zeppelin borrowed or stole music piecemeal from African-American blues artists. However, there were a lot of ‘white’ kids who didn’t identify so much with their whiteness who appreciated that disco, funk and soul music were fun to listen and dance to and a great way to socialize. These kids tended to mix comfortably with kids from other ethnic groups, while the ‘rocker’ kids did not. The two groups hated each other passionately.
I was too much a nerd to have any friends, so I didn’t hang out with either group. When I discovered punk rock, I found an interesting no-man’s-land between them. Punk rock was the great social diversifier in my high school. At first, only outcasts and unacceptable people liked it. Then everybody liked it because it was outrageous and subversive and transgressive – kids love that! The ‘GQ pimps’ liked it (I got a lot of sincere compliments on my clothes from them, but then I wasn’t what is now referred to as a ‘crusty punk’), the theater freaks liked it, the socialite/key club-types liked it, and even a few of the headbangers liked it – blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians, rich, poor, everybody liked at least one punk or new wave song because it was just, like, crazy, dude! It was about freedom. It was exhilirating while it lasted. Punk soon got taken over by a new breed of conformists and lost some of that initial diversity. I fear that golden era is all but forgotten now. I see kids these days sort of imitating the fashion, but they really don’t get what it was all about.
Anyway, I think maybe if you seek out and keep company with social rule-breakers, you might be surprised at how much potential for community there is there.