- February 25, 2002 at 12:00 am #11059
I know some women enjoy performing oral sex on men. I have never enjoyed this, and, in fact, it is a huge turn-off for me. I try to be as sensitive to my partner’s needs as I can, and I know many men enjoy this, but I can’t get past my aversion to it. Does anyone have advice for me?
User Detail :Name : Jezek, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Mountain View, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 26, 2002 at 12:00 am #44371
If you have an aversion to doing something, then you need not do it. If you have a partner who doesn’t respect your needs and boundaries, the question shouldn’t be ‘How do I change for my partner?’, but rather, ‘Why am I with this asshole?’
User Detail :Name : Arby, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 41, City : Atlantic City, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Programmer, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, February 26, 2002 at 12:00 am #45310
Dan-Cubrich27333ParticipantFebruary 27, 2002 at 12:00 am #24852
Here’s my method of helping ladies overcome aversion to performing oral sex on men (me in particular). You personally wash your partner’s penis with soap and water. Also, rinse thoroughly and dry. This will ease your anxiety about cleanliness, odor and taste. If it is done in the right spirit, it can be a sensual experience for your lover. It is important to at least get the complete head of the penis (the part that looks like a helmet) in your mouth. Before taking the penis in your mouth, take a deep breath and hold that breath until you have inserted the penis in as far as you are comfortable. This will suppress the gag reflex. You can breath now. Next, do not suck or blow, but push your tongue firmly against the shaft, and while maintaining this pressure, rotate your tongue completely around the circumference of the helmet and shaft. Be sure to keep your teeth clear at all times. Rotate your tongue as described over and over. Speed isn’t the object. Remember this to motivate you: master this technique and you will make any lover your slave.
User Detail :Name : Teacher, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 48, City : Bolingbrook, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, February 28, 2002 at 12:00 am #37486
Good sex is is about two consenting adults – you both have to feel good about it, and a huge turn-off is not a good feeling! Perhaps you and your partner can use sex toys for fun that meets both your needs and interjects a new element into your personal time together.
User Detail :Name : Sue27739, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 52, City : Waterloo, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : management, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, February 28, 2002 at 12:00 am #44991
I can only hope that this advice helps-perhaps using flavored oils, or maybe even whipped cream, or chocolate/caramel syrup (whatever tickles your fancy) might make it slightly enjoyable for you, while keeping your man happy and oh so grateful!! (im sure he will be willing to show you just how appreciative he is).Only a suggestion… by the wy-these items you can find in any stag shop in your area..
User Detail :Name : dannielle, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : bicurious/straight, Race : dutch/spanish/caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 28, City : kitchener, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : photo lab technician, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, March 3, 2002 at 12:00 am #46292
It was a long time before I enjoyed performing oral sex on a man. I had bad experiences and I felt degraded. I think many women feel oral sex is degrading. I never perform oral sex now unless i feel 100% comfortable. I enjoy it more now because I don’t feel like I have to do it and it makes me want sex. If you are not comfortble performing it, please don’t do it. There are many other forms of foreplay that you can participate in that should be pleasing to you and to the man. If you do it simply to ‘please’ the man, I feel that you are allowing yourself to be degraded and it can be very damaging to your self esteem.
User Detail :Name : tamara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 25, City : forest city, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, March 6, 2002 at 12:00 am #25848
I am a man who love to give and receive oral sex. You did not mention whethor or not you enjoyed receiving (just curious). It might help you to only perform oral sex with men you have serious relationships with. Your aversion is either coming from lack of trust that he won’t ejaculate in your mouth, or that he is humiliating you with the act itself. If you don’t want him to finish in your mouth, ask him not too. If you don’t trust him, maybe you should not be ‘down’ there to begin with…
User Detail :Name : David25908, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self employed, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, March 28, 2002 at 12:00 am #46316
I can only speak from the my own male perspective,however,I love to perform oral sex on my wife.I love her with all my heart,I want her and want to be part of her.I love the taste of all of her body – including her vaginal wetness – and her natural fragrance. I tell her that she is my favorite perfume and my favorite flavor and so she is. And using my lips and tongue to give her pleasure by licking her clitoris and vulva and by licking the inside of her vagina gives her great pleasure, and also gives me great pleasure, which makes both of us very happy. By the way,we usually use the ’69’ position. I swallow her wetness, if there is any of her urine on her, I lick that (and enjoy it) and she swallows my semen when I come in her mouth. All this is simply a matter of enjoying each other totally, of giving ourselves to each other totally, of wanting to be part of each other, of loving each other that much. It also involves getting in touch with your body and the body of your mate in this act of love and desire. While sex (love making as we think of it) needs to be restricted to the privacy of one’s home and to one person, for many reasons too numerous to go into here, I think that our society has tended to get out of touch with our bodies and things about them (such as our natural scents and tastes) which are perfectly normal, healthy and which serve the God given purpose of attracting and holding a mate and of being one with them. While I would encourage people to have only one mate with whom one makes love exclusively, I would encourage people to get totally in touch with that person, their thoughts, feelings and their body, totally giving themselves to their mate. Oral sex can be a wonderful part of one’s marriage and you’d be surprised how quickly you can go from being hesitant about it to totally enjoying it with your mate. It can bond you and your mate like nothing else. May God bless you and your partner.
User Detail :Name : Buck, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 51, City : Charlottesville, State : VA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, April 18, 2002 at 12:00 am #42919
First, I think performing oral sex is something you must want to do. I enjoy performing oral sex on my guy. I enjoy it almost more than he enjoys pleasing me. Certainly don’t do anything that you really don’t want to do, but if you have made up your mind that you do want to, here are a few suggestions:
I first had to study the techniques. I read several books on the subject. Later, my guy and I purchased some ‘How To’ tapes. You will need to determine in your mind if you really want to engage in oral sex with your partner. Do you care enough about him to want to please yourself? Because that is what will ultimately happen. Learn the techniques.
User Detail :Name : Charlotte, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 40+, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Specialist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, May 17, 2002 at 12:00 am #35360
I used to really hate it when a guy asked for oral sex. But now that I am married, I do it to please my husband. I don’t like it as much as he likes returning the favor, but I like to see him happy and satisfied. If you think of it that way and really care about the person, I think you kind of learn to enjoy it, or the benefits that it brings. But when it all comes down to it, it is a personal choice.
User Detail :Name : Christine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, May 31, 2002 at 12:00 am #40387
in my experience, it completely depends on my interest in and level of attachment to the man. with one beau i had, i absolutely loved it because i knew how much it turned him on, which turned me on, which made for a helluva sex life! with the next, i dreaded it because it was hard, made me gag, i never felt turned on by it, and couldn’t wait for it to be over. mind you, the first guy had a HUGE penis *and* i didn’t like him very much, the second had a very small penis and i loved him, so it’s kind of hard to make sense of, isn’t it?
User Detail :Name : annie23891, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, October 7, 2002 at 12:00 am #19468
Giving oral sex isn’t something I particularly like to do, but I don’t mind doing it to my man for one reason… I LOVE that he loses all control whenever I do it! Giving is supposed to be about just that- giving. I do it because HE likes it so much, and because I get personal satisfaction from pleasing him. Also, this makes him VERY INSPIRED when he ‘returns the favor’!
User Detail :Name : J.G., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : Anderson, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : Customer Service, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, December 25, 2002 at 12:00 am #32006
I have to say it isn’t the ‘enjoying oral sex’ as much as it is enjoying how my husbands body responds to getting oral sex that is the turn on for me. If sucking his toes got the same response I’d enjoy that too… LOL… I also love the way he tastes and all men taste different (those that drink beer are really yuck to me taste wise) so diet has something to do with taste. My sweetie tastes great and to feel his body respond that way is just wonderful. — I think if you have an adversion to the act itself then you can learn why but if you just don’t like it you shouldn’t do it. No one should do any sexual act that they just don’t like. There is also a lot to be said about learning how to do it well… practice, reading and understanding the male parts that respond to different feelings helps a lot in learning to manipulate your partners ‘zones’ if you want to do that. It shouldn’t ever feel like an obligation though… it is a gift, freely given to each other in whatever way we enjoy the most.
User Detail :Name : ~denise23958, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 42, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, November 24, 2004 at 12:00 am #37777
thought of why you find giving oral sex aversive? I know some people (men and women) look at giving oral sex to their partner (again male or female) as unclean due to the other functions down there. When my son (he is 22) came to me complaining that his girlfriend wanted him to give her oral if she were to do the same for him, that was his problem as he stated ‘there is always something going on down there’ I have not heard any further problems since I suggested that maybe they should think of commencing such activities in the shower. As far as technique, one of the best books I have found on not only oral but other activities was one called ‘Sex Tips For Straight Women From A Gay Man’ Makes sence when you think the author knew from both the giving and recieving ends lol. An other thing you may think is work your way towards such bit by bit over time. Nibbling on earlobes, nipples, any place you are sensitive chances are your man is also.
User Detail :Name : Georgia21675, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : artist, Education level : 2 Years of College,
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