Why hate “Fag Hags”?

Home Forums Sexual Orientation Why hate “Fag Hags”?

This topic contains 15 replies, has 16 voices, and was last updated by  Steph D. 4 years, 10 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)
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  • #10628

    Katie M.
    Member

    Why do some gays (and lesbians) dislike fag hags? With so many bigoted people in the world, I would think they’d like some sympathizers.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Katie M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #22503

    Sara28317
    Participant

    We don’t, although i’ve noticed that while many fag hags are supportive of gay men, they are scared sh**less of lesbians. Internalized sexism sometimes causes them to be scared of us. Also, many fag hags seek out the company of gay men, often (incorrectly) assuming that gay men will be less misogynistic than straight men. It’s also annoying when straight people hang out with gay people to sample a bit of ‘cultural experience.’ You may have run into some gay people who have had experiences with fag hags who want to hang out with them for a bit, but then are too embarassed to defend gay people when straights treat them unfairly.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sara28317, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 27, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #22545

    laila-Johnson26198
    Participant

    What are Fag ‘hags’ anyway?Tell me that first.

    User Detail :  

    Name : laila-Johnson26198, City : thurmond, State : CT Country : United States, 
    #23500

    Chandra32232
    Participant

    What’s a Fag Hag?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Chandra32232, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #26884

    Ian21359
    Participant

    I don’t like it when people dislike me for being gay, so why would I like it when people like me for the same superficial reason? Faghags = NeoHomophobia.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ian21359, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Winnipeg, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #47548

    Steph D.
    Member

    I have no problems with fag hags. I think it’s because in some way gay men see straight female friends of other gay men as competition. Fag hags are fine to me. I have mostly straight male friends, and they don’t mind going to a gay club with me, as they know they will meet women and, therefore, don’t get left out.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Steph D., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #25855

    Adrian
    Member

    If we’re going to get persnickety — and you already have; this is a correction to your own contribution — using the term ‘Neo HomoPhobia’ to describe fag hags makes no sense at all. A more accurate term might be homophilia, the liking of homosexuals: the ‘neo’ is entirely redundant. In any case, I have yet to meet someone who likes gays indiscriminately on the basis of their sexuality: there are people we get on with and those we don’t, and sexuality is only part of the story.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  Adrian.
    • This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by  admin.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Adrian, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Nottingham, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : writer, Social class : Middle class, 
    #33179

    Marie
    Member

    Does the term only apply to women who actively seek out gay men or does it also apply to someone like me? I don’t go looking for gay men to be friends with, I just sort of find them. A lot of men that I find attractive, too, turn out to be gay or at least bisexual. And because I don’t actively try to make gay friends, I can’t really say what it is that draws me to them.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Marie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Jeffersonville, State : IN Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #27376

    Rebecca B.
    Member

    I don’t think it is necessary to like everyone. However, I do think it is important to be true to who you are.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Rebecca B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unity School of Christianity, Age : 43, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #29779

    Mandy O.
    Member

    I don’t hate ‘fag hags’. I do, however, dislike some of the ideas about gay men that they have. To me at least, it seems as though straight women who identify themselves as ‘fag hags’ are secretly in love with their gay male friend. Although it doesn’t really seem like a secret. They expect to somehow change their friend’s sexual orientation, which in essence shows that they can’t accept the fact that their friend is gay. On the other hand, other ‘fag hags’ seek gay men to engage in a very close friendship much like a relationship, minus sex. I have heard them firsthand say things like ‘He’s like a boyfriend that has the same interests as me, except I don’t have to have sex with him.’ Or, ‘They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend…I say a gay man is a girl’s best friend.’ To ‘fag hags,’ gay men are a novelty. I’ve also noticed that many ‘fag hags’ have a prejudice against lesbians, which reinforces the idea that they’re not totally accepting of all gays.

    A friend of a friend is a ‘fag hag’ who is getting married to a closeted gay man. The guy says he thinks his sexual urges toward men will vanish if he is married to a woman. I also need to mention that the ‘fag hag’ I’m talking about has a circle of friends entirely made up of gay men, and has actually asked one of them to ‘turn straight’ for her, and if he does then she will call off the wedding. I have another gay male friend who isn’t allowed to go out with his boyfriend without getting the third degree from his ‘fag hag’. She has said things to her gay friend such as ‘Why would you rather go out with him than me?’ I don’t like how these women try to control gay men.

    I can, however, in another sense, appreciate straight women befriending gay men. Never in history has a minority gained acceptance without help from members of the majority. I think that’s as much credit I can give them, though.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Mandy O., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 20, City : Newton, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Political Science Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #41846

    Patrick Kellogg
    Participant

    I think people get a little peeved a sterotype is used to make them disliked *or* liked. For example, I know some Asian women who get creepd out by straight guys who really really like them – not for who they are, but because they fit some fantasy the guy has. So, though I’m gay, I wouldn’t want a woman to be my friend because she thinks I fit her idea of gay (happy, good at fashion, witty, effiminate). I want to be liked for who I am as a person, so because I’m ‘safe’ or because I compliment her shoes.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Patrick Kellogg, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 35, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : Self-unemployed, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #26820

    Ken26416
    Participant

    I’ve never been a fan of having a fag hag. I hate it when straight girls meet me and say ‘Oh that’s great! I want more gay boys to hang out with!’ Sorry, no, we’re not going to get drunk and play dress-up and I don’t want to listen to your problems with your job/boyfriend/pet ferret that you dress in a pink glittery boa so it looks more ‘fabulous’. More feminine gay men might like fag hags, but not me…Just like sticking with masculine boys. A lot of fag hags tend to be rude, obnoxious, loud, etc. and that’s just not someone I want to hang with.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ken26416, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Tucson, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Specialized retail, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 
    #22812

    Tyler L.
    Member

    I have many of them, but I prefer the term ‘friend.’ 🙂 Almost all of my friends are straight females… There’s no one else like them! Plus..It’s always easiest to befriend another guy’s female friends to get a closer look at who he is and what he’s like!

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tyler L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 16, City : Athens, State : OH Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Student/Cheerleader, Social class : Middle class, 
    #34104

    Jennifer23076
    Participant

    I don’t get it, I have a gay friend and we’ve known each other since 2nd grade and I love him but dislike the fact that he is gay. I hang out with him because we are friends and his boyfriend (whom I dislike for the simple fact that he is a horrible selfish person and not because he’s gay) calls me a fag hag every time he talk about me. I don’t know if its a negitive thing in general or just for him.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jennifer23076, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Columbus, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #18044

    Paul-A28921
    Participant

    A ‘Fag Hag’ is a straight woman who hangs out often with gay men.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Paul-A28921, City : Long Beach, State : CA Country : United States, 
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