- June 18, 1999 at 12:00 am #3550
I have read several places on the gay web that sexual orientation might be “fluid.” However, this “fluidity” always seems to go from heterosexual to homosexual. Can anyone tell me whether there are cases when the reverse is true?
User Detail :Name : Gwendolyn R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Questioning my sexual orientation, Religion : Catholic, City : D'Abadie, State : N/ Country : Trinidad & Tobago, Occupation : Human reseource facilitator, Education level : 2 Years of College, June 21, 1999 at 12:00 am #41777
The movement from heterosexual to homosexual is more common, primarily due to the fact that it is common for gays/lesbians to hide their true sexuality in order to conform with family/religious/societal norms. So, the coming out process produces that visible movement from one end of the spectrum to the other. That said, I agree that sexuality is fluid. Imagine a sexuality scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being pure hetero and 10 being pure homo. You might visualize a bell curve to represent this scale. There are those who are 1’s or 10’s, but I think there are a lot more people somewhere between 1 and 10. That is part of the “fluidity” in sexuality. I know several bisexual people; one claims to be primarily straight, the other claims to be primarily gay. Both like to dabble in the other side of their sexuality, but don’t primarily reside there. I don’t even consider the “ex-gay” converts in this scale; their change is driven by outside (and in my opinion, damaging) influences, not by their true being.
The pure #1’s I know are comfortable being around gays/lesbians because they are comfortable with their own heterosexuality and are therefore not threatened/intimidated by homosexuals. The bashers are probably more in the middle range of the curve and are scared and angered by the thought that they might be like the stereotypical gay images seen on TV (re: any Gay Pride Parade participant).
I firmly feel that if more of the populace understood that sexuality isn’t always one or the other, and that there is lots of middle ground, the prejudice and bashing would start to diminish.
User Detail :Name : Mark B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Cathedral of Hope - UFMCC, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, June 25, 1999 at 12:00 am #18917
I’ve known many instances of people changing sexual orientation. As other posts suggest, more often the change is from heterosexual to homosexual, reflecting society’s influence in disapproving homosexuality and promoting heterosexuality. But I’ve known many instances of people making their own decision to change from one to the other. A friend of mine decided in his mid-40s that the gay life no longer felt right for him, and he is now married with children. I know many gay men are uncomfortable with this type of story. They have the justified fear that those seeking to change them will point to such examples. The typical mother of a gay man who “never gives up hope” that he will provide her with grandchildren is a case in point.
User Detail :Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, July 29, 1999 at 12:00 am #25813
I believe it is possible for a homosexual to change his orientation to heterosexual. There are many instances of this occurring through professional therapy and through the efforts of such organizations as Courage, a Catholic outreach program dedicated to homosexuals who are desirous of abstaining from homosexual behavior or changing their sexual orientation. I feel that the primary reason the public at large does not know that homosexuality is ‘fluid’ is that the public has been indoctrinated by a very sophisticated PR effort on the part of the homosexual community. People with opposing points of view have been demonized, and their views have been mischaracterized.
User Detail :Name : Normand-O-L19939, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 50, City : Alameda, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Mechanic, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, August 11, 1999 at 12:00 am #46916
Homosexuals are usually raised in an environment that assumes everyone is heterosexual and should be. Heterosexuals grow up with role models in a society where every little thing helps prepare them for their emerging amorous feelings and supports them in learning to establish relationships. We have to discover that none of that fits us, figure out why and then find our way to people and a community that are like us – all before we have maturity or life experience for such a monumental task. It is an agonizing odyssey. After coming out early in high school and surviving 8 years of struggle, I read the Kinsey Report in college. I looked at the 1-10 scale and said, “Hey, maybe I could be bisexual. If I were, couldn’t I go either way and just choose the easy way?” At the same time, I was being actively pursued by a girl who loved the idea of seducing a gay man. The combination was a recipe for a seriously dysfunctional relationship. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I cannot have a sexually intimate, romantic relationship with a woman. I sure can have one with a man. I won’t deny sexual fluidity, but I would caution everyone that it is very easy to mistake a wish to be heterosexual for actually being it.
User Detail :Name : Jim C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 42, City : Rochester, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Medical Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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