- July 26, 1999 at 12:00 am #271
Why do older men try to talk to young girls? Do they actually think I am going to want to hook up with someone three times my age who I don’t even know? To older men who have done this: Why?
User Detail :Name : Lilly22922, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, August 2, 1999 at 12:00 am #40892
In my work place, there are a lot of kids still in high school. As a superviser, I speak to them all on a regular and casual basis. I believe these older men are just having a casual conversation with you. If you do not like what they are saying, change the topic.
User Detail :Name : Christopher-D32101, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Arlington, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Customer Service, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, August 3, 1999 at 12:00 am #19413
Chris, Just as a point of clarification, when Lilly used the term “talk to” I believe she did not mean to literally be spoken to by an older man. In fact, in some cultures, the term “talk to” means the same as trying to “pick up” or “date.” I wanted to throw this out because it seems her question was referring to more than just casual conversation. (This is exactly why I love Y? Forum … there’s always an opportunity for healthy interchange!)
User Detail :Name : Dee-W, City : Cleveland, State : OH Country : United States, August 4, 1999 at 12:00 am #19829
Thanks for the question. It really made me think, and I may not be proud of all that I am going to say. First, we are all people. Anyone can “try to talk” to anyone. Did you mean talk, or what in England I would call “Chat up” or try to “Pick up”? Second, some young girls do want to hook up with older men. In my early forties, I went out for three years with a girl who was 18 when we met. I was older than her father, and he liked it about as much as I imagine I would have done in his shoes. Third, it is biological: Mid- to late teens (I assume this is your “young”) is when human females are most desireable to human males. It is the age at which men first start to notice women, and some of us get stuck at that age. But then I went out for seven years with a woman of my own age, and it was wonderful! No rush, no feeling I had to perform, just enjoyed all of each other, and I wish it had not ended (yeah, I deceived and betrayed her).
I still fancy young girls; I am flattered when they do talk to me, and if I can manage to pretend that they are ordinary people for long enough, they turn into ordinary people. I try to be accepted, but struggle with the awareness that they are, indeed, young and plumptious. But do not assume that all older men want to hook up with you; some really have got things under control, and may have interesting things to say. As Christopher D. says, see how they are with you, and break off if you do not like what you hear.
User Detail :Name : Steve Hill, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 54, City : Leeds, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Publisher's Rep, Social class : Middle class, August 6, 1999 at 12:00 am #38717
Many men in their 40s and 50s go through a phase when they see their physical virility slipping away, and they’re afraid to face the implications. Unless they’ve nurtured a rich inner life, they may experience a crisis in self-worth analogous to a woman’s “empty nest syndrome.” Those men who are in denial about their physical decline will try to take up with young girls in order to pretend they’re still young themselves. (And the intense stimulation of a beautiful young partner can revive whatever’s sagging, at least for a little while.) Or, if they’re a little more realistic, talking to young girls lets them fantasize or at least reminisce about lustier times. Usually they get over it by the time they reach their 60s, and learn to value older female companions who can be counted on to be there for them during the increasing disabilities of age.
User Detail :Name : Anon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, August 11, 1999 at 12:00 am #44747
Not all old guys talk to you to hook up. Some are just looking for conversation. But there are some who try to hook up; I have been in that situation. I don’t know what the deal is. Maybe they want someone younger so they can feel younger. Or maybe they are just perverted old men.
User Detail :Name : Kim, Gender : F, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, August 31, 1999 at 12:00 am #32561
Older men do this because many younger women do go for them. Go to any upscale restaurant and look at the couples if you don’t believe me. We prefer and appreciate men who are more mature emotionally and secure financially, not little boys who would rather watch football and get wasted with their friends. We prefer men who are generous and know what foreplay and afterplay are, not boys who take us to McDonald’s and then last two minutes in bed.
It’s strange that society is so hostile to older men and young ladies, when this used to be normal. Remember Romeo and Juliet? Romeo was in his late 20s and Juliet was 13. Joseph and Mary from the Bible? Joseph was 35, Mary 14. Why do people who are so hostile to this attack something that has always worked so well and that many do want?
User Detail :Name : Sheryl, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 19, City : N/A, State : AL Country : United States, Occupation : Saleslady, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, December 22, 1999 at 12:00 am #35125
John-KParticipantNovember 25, 2004 at 12:00 am #31924
I, as an ‘older man’ simply prefer to date ‘younger women’. I have tried to date women ‘my own age’, and just never got along well. Even when I was married, my wife was 5 years younger than I. Now that I am divorced, I still prefer women in the age group. Older women(over 30) tend to have too many ‘skeletons in the closet’, and I am not a Ghostbuster!! Also, women over 25 ever-increasingly fall into the OBESE category, and I do not wish to enter into a long-term relationship with someone doomed to die at a young age of cardiac arrest. Plus, I still have a desire to have more children. Women in my ‘age group’ have generally decided that the LAST thing they want is another child. As you can see, it is not a simple answer.
User Detail :Name : James Neighbors, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Tecumseh, State : OK Country : United States, Occupation : Prep Cook, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class, July 18, 2005 at 12:00 am #43206
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