- April 7, 2005 at 12:00 am #11217
I’ll try to summarize this as best as possible: I’m 25, and I’ve been hashing over my sexual orientation for the past 5 years. I just can’t seem to quite ‘figure it out.’ Most of the time, I do feel I worry about it WAY too much, and that there’s more of a depression and anxiety circle that perpetuates the confusion and worry, and that if I dealt with that (say, medication and a doctor), the problem itself would go away, and I could see things more clear. Does this make sense? To summarize, I’ve never been sexually involved with another male since I was like 8 (we’ve all had our childhood experimentations). But, I guess I really seem to obsess about what it would be like, how do I know I’m heterosexual (or homosexual) if I’ve not done it, etc. I can never really seem to bring myself to do it, and I wonder ‘is it society-related’, is that the reason I can’t do it? I basically fear actually being gay. Anyway, I seem to obsess about it, like sexual thoughts just pop into my head about guys I work with. There are men I love, deeply, but, doesn’t doesn’t mean crap I don’t think. There are men in my life that if they died, I think I’d cry and feel like I had part of my soul ripped out. I think that’s natural and normal. But, I ask myself, ‘If the LOVE is there, then maybe you can overcome and sexual taboo’….and therefore find that you’re gay. See what I mean? These are logical and plausible scenarios….but, realistic? I guess that’s where I need help in figuring out if that is something I should REALLY consider, of if it’s my mind going on obessional, worrisome tracks, and therefore I need some legitimate psychological help. I mean, sure, homosexuality is not just about sex, it’s about love, too, but, can you be homosexual, but not really be HORNY for the sex part? Maybe the sex part’s not there because I’m TOO worried and somewhat depressed about it, or because I’ve not done it before, and I need to unlock the gates so to speak (sorry for the dumb metaphor). You know, I’m 25, yet I feel way too old to be worrying about this at my age. I just want help and understanding from other people. Thank you.
User Detail :Name : Tom, City : Indianapolis, State : IN Country : United States,
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